Having seiged a planet of purity by man's lustful passions,
Openned the gates of hell which ushered in
Monstrosities of unhollowed evil.
Outlawing himself from heavens eternal domain.
Subsequently havoc reeked in the realms of
Abiding bliss which created infinite darkness.
Penitence was demanded from the gods of eternal balance.
Igniting the fury of man's ultimate ego, Pride.
Earning him the scarlet letter of excommunication,
Nailed like a badge of everlasting shame on his heart.
Author notes
I used the letters from the word HOMOSAPIEN
to create a story explaining the reason behind
all man's troubles. Past Present and Future.
A contest entry
- Crude Animal: A quote inspired contest. by howlinginpain.
2150 points, ended August 17, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I liked this poem very much. It was by far the most original of the group. This most certainly would have been a finalist if not for the spelling error.
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LOL@ howlinginpain's SN, that's wonderful for a poet's name!
Okay, this is an acrostic, and I love acrostics. They're not as easy as you might think, but when you get it right, you know it. Honestly Darell, I had some troubles understanding who or what you were saying until I read the author's note. With that said, I also didn't think it had ANYTHING to do with women, I dunno if that person was reading the same poem or not, but there you go. I like the strong square words you used, but yes, I think you should soften up the edges a little? Loosen it up maybe. Acrostics work best when they seem effortless...but then, I've done exactly two in my one year of writing
, so what do I know?
As always, blessings and best wishes!
Jin
P.S.
Overall, the message in this is fantastic. Lemme know when you finish, I'd love to see it again.
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This is a very deep poem. It raises interesting questions in the reader. This is a truly wonderful poem. Many of women's troubles are because of men. The words you chose to use and the way you arranged them was freaking awesome.
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amazing
Though I do not agree. From personal experience I would say all women's troubles can be laid directly at the feet of men. The world is owned by men so be it. Your style and words are beautiful.
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Odd as hell,
but somehow Im feeling this one babe. It takes a creative mind who love the passion of Poetry to be able to pen such magnificance. Good luck, just wanted to stop by and show my love and support.
Always
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my god!!! that was truly and incredibly well written!!! now ive seen a lot of great poems, but of all of them, i think this was really great in just the way it was written. i mean, the words u chose and the way u put them, i mean, wow. it was amazing!!! thats all i can say, is it was amazing!!! great job, honestly!!
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