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soil sample - 2003

 

 

 

 

 
she died & walked
away

as I was born

& like all dead

mammals
 
each hair continued
to grow
beyond that loss.
 
~
 
sometimes still
I drown,
 
tangled in the smell
of it all
 
each strand kept

here
in casket-mind,

 

in earth,
parched & sacred.

 

~
 
her nails also evolved

beyond
their use-by-date:
 
they are talons
now-
 
able to touch
at a distance of inches
& worms.
 
~
 
yet beneath all this

grief was undone
 
by the busy
of 'life-continues' -
 
for she had a resurrection
to attend
 

 
& I had mine
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Edits: 7 (so far - still playing)

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Nicolette gold member
    August 6, 2008

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    I often wonder if you ever write a “not good” poem, Kate? This really is stellar poetry and as always, your poetry carries with it such an authentic and personal voice, yet it still allows the reader to identify with it; it has that universal quality about it too. What can I say about this one, other than that it’s simply great poetry. I so loved the “each hair continued to grow beyond that loss”, as well as how this poem moves from darkness to light. This poem can be interpreted on so many different levels – both physical or emotional death – and resurrection….from the old self towards the new self. Somehow I wanted to see you continue on the hair theme a bit more..but other than that, this is great poetry – as always.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 1, 2008

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    I agree, perfection written here.
    You took this prompt and not only made it your
    own, but showed us a level that previously was
    unknown. I have nothing more to add. Blue

  • Rowan gold member
    July 29, 2008

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    The end is perfect. There are so many people who have come and gone, literally, and figuratively. Some, my fault, and some, because we've taken different paths, still makes them no less important to me. I've learned something from everyone I've ever met, even the ones I don't want in my life anymore.


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 28, 2008

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    superb. an astounding write for this contest - i expected nothing less from you. Love, Lane

  • Suzanne Dia
    July 28, 2008
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    death can be beautiful rebirth.


  • Never Fall in Love
    July 28, 2008

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    sometimes still
    I drown,

    perhaps switch the position of I & still. Atleast, I kept wanting to read it like that.

    Once again, excellent


  • Tirrell
    July 28, 2008

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    This was a fun read, I like the tone and imagery you've used, it is serene and beautiful. I highly enjoyed this. cheers!


  • just rob gold member
    July 28, 2008

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    Wow!

    How did I go so long without reading you? So many I miss when I have so little time. I was really proud of mine untill I started reading these. You, and the others I find to teach me by example, keep me reaching higher.

    This is an oh-so-creative approach to the subject, and so full of image and emotion. REALLY a great read.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you'd think.. it would get easier to comment, but no, exactly the opposite ..

    people do not need to die to go missing, do not need to be buried to exist in coffins.. for me each person becomes a memory once they move on, and so a little death, but then minutes are as provocative sometimes...
    whole lives can be lived in a second, years in the tick of a clock..

    I love this, and those last lines, as for me life is a series of constant resurrections, and to stay on the cross would only mean death.

1 - 9 of 9