How does it feel to trick me,
Freakin’ bozo,
First smack,
First freakin’ kick?
When you fed me those three burgers,
That tasted like fried guano with ketchup,
And tugged at my very innards and
Made my tummy come a cropper, as it were?
He is everything I’d like to be
And could only be if I was doing steroids
(I’m like a freakin’ macho butterfly
in a freakin’ cocoon--let me out!)
How often did you compare
My match stick biceps
To his 18 inch schwarzeneggers
Eh?
Did you count every freakin’ dollar
In his freakin’ Swiss bank account?
Does he pay you in cash,
Or do you still take a check?
I have one final, but most important
Question, indeed: when you are in
His embrace do, you, do you
Still make those stupid bird calls?
Author notes
this is a spoof on your poem “You’ll Never Read This Anyway” ...
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I couldn't wait to see this one posted.
Absolute stunning brilliance!!! I am so happy with this, I think I'll post the link (with your permission of course) in the original poem's author's notes.
I love how you made this your own, substituting men for the two women in my poem. Also, biceps instead of freckles.
The part about the "three burgers" made me BUST OUT LAUGHING!
I just love it!!! Thanks for making me smile and laugh, yet again.
By the way, gotta go add you to favorites.
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A very amusing spoof indeed, best of luck in the contest.
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