It was not easy there, assembled
like fine glass, or a doll-face, or
some other form of muted
decoration that gleamed, perhaps,
but never screamed:
take my hands from the wheel.
The scenery blurs to banal
and she tells herself the view
is safe – this is where black and white
lick each other grey; the fated
stage at which gas runs out
long after she feigns dying.
Author notes
We've already lost control, alreadyyyyyy LOST CONTROL! Whoo!
I'm a little bit rusty, shhhhh.
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Contest /Word Prompt by Rowan.
800 points, ended August 18, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
MEH.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I thought I commented on this one!
this is excellent, and congrats on the gold, you are due for a new Arabella poem soon!
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this is awesome, but i thought you did an amazing job with the ending - the last stanza and last line wrapped it together perfectly. congratulations on your gold win. golden, indeed.
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Congrats on the gold, Allyce - so well-deserved!! I don't mind losing to you
!!
~ Nicolette
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I loved that last line too.
The line 'take my hands from the wheel' reminds me of that song; "Jesus take the wheel' which, though I'm not a religious person resonates that feeling of desperate resignation. Poor Arabella.
I love the 'black-white' line and the ending. Rusty?
lol. Never.
Thanks so much for entering this fine, fine piece hon.
Love you!!
K.
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Arabella Finuti?
bite the nail heads off; tap a snow-drop compilation into submission and move selectively between seats in uncontrolled cars. Holy concoction, Bat Scammer! this turns the head like an exorcist whiplash in a clown-crowded rodeo. 2 Clint traps apart and a sandstone movie box for Dwezil impersonators.
Just loved the black and white lick each other grey line and the ensuing feign of death. this constitutes some fine poetic vittles right her, uh-huh... ~ EZB
www.moodgroove.com
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Whoo!...indeed!
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"long after she feigns dying. "--> hits home.
brill.
-joan.
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this is wonderful- i love a snippet of
a moment
pulled into a poem-
you've done that exceptionally well..
m
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i love the name arabella, it reminds me of the book/movie atonement, which was lovely. as for the piece, it was one big gulp of pure poetry. beautiful words and images all the way until the end which was just prefect. nothing to critique. go allyeeece!
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this is where black and white
lick each other grey
loved that part.
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This is solid gold.
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I agree with Nic, Arabella is a classy name, perfect for the portrayal of the fine looking mare not au fait with horsing around within the moments of time that feigning having no feeling may blur to grey but still erode the day. Omg please forgive the rambling and even erase, 'tis late and I may be making even less sense than usual lol . Bravo.
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I can't imagine you being "rusty" but I can imagine out of control
- and that's good in my book!
Arabella...love the name - makes me think of throrough-bred horses!! I just returned home after a long day at work and a loooooooong family conference about a 10 year old girl who was sexually abused and lots of other things, so I'll just say this is a beauty - as always.
~ Nicolette
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If there's one person who could handle that with the compassion and tenderness it requires, it's you
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she tells herself the view
is safe – this is where black and white
lick each other grey
This is the sort of thing that keeps me in awe of you. What you seem to think is rust is really just the dust you're leaving all of us in as you speed ahead.
What a talent you have! And none of us is safe from you, you challenge and inspire all who read your work and we are forced to work that much harder to try to do what you make look so effortless.
You totally rock, good luck with the contest.
Garrison
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she tells herself the view
is safe – this is where black and white
lick each other grey
I can only hope, wish and pray with a thousand eyeballs to be this rusty.
Beauty...straight to the bone.
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"the fated
stage at which the gas runs out..."
the first opera I ever saw was Arabella and I ran out of gas before the opera did. At least I didn't snore, they tell me.
there is safety in gray
Nice images, good words
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I like Arabella.
She is vulnerable, but has these edges that you just don't see often enough..
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