It’s a beautiful dawn of the red morning sun,
That watches the snow flow away,
The last of a winter, harsh to the hilt,
And broken by hot summer rays.
A place of the old, both broken and sore
From the rocks to the trees of the land.
A marvel of artistry, formed in the past
With a masterful, natural hand.
Black is the soil, rich on the plane,
Red is the dry dusty sand,
And grey is the stone of the great mountain range,
In a thirsty, magnificent land.
The desert is raw, with a power and peace,
A time honoured place of the past.
Home to a few and a haven to none
In this ultimate fight to the last.
Deeper endowed with the chill of the sea,
The strait of a bitter wind flows.
A southern expanse near the pole of the world
Is the water that mountains enclose.
Pummelled and pressured through year after year,
Are the cliffs of the great ocean road.
They stand to face waves in the ocean of rage,
While water gives force to explode.
As the clouds funnel in for an ominous night,
The weather delivers a blow,
And the dust gives away to a storm of the south,
With a glorious sunset aglow,
In a land of the sun, the anual storm
Is a bringer of life and of death.
A powerful sight as it pours through the night
With a final and grimacing breath.
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 7 Old - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical comments welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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One can perceive things in various ways and invariably accounts of observations reflect the awareness of the observer. I guess you saw some fascinating scenes here. Great work.
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I thought I'd have a look at some more of your poetry to see how you use meter and rhyme and I am very impressed. The continuous flow of your poem really emphasises the timelessness of the subject matter and it makes it very enjoyable to read. Fantastic poem!
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Another terrific entry from you, definitely a star of this series.
A lovely take on the prompt ad a joy to read the whole poem, thanks for the entry and please keep them coming for the remaining rounds.
Great stuff
Jeff and Sue.
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Wow, I love the rhyme and the flow and to words. It totally draws you in, makes you part of the story/poem. My interest never wavered through the whole piece; contrary to that, I was drawn deeper and deeper... I have got to read more of your writings!
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Very evocative descriptive detail is immediately established and this really establishes a sense of place. Extremely well written, effective rhyme that doesn't seem at all strained. This is a highly impressive write, all the very best in your contest, not that you'll need it! Thanks for sharing.
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Bonza mate ..Just beautiful flowed so well and you painted a picture with your pen so well .Love the back ground too .
Pummelled and pressured through year after year,
Are the cliffs of the great southern road.
They stand to face waves in the ocean of rage,
While water gives force to explode.
My fav stanza just wonderful
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i liked it! a very nice flow and rhyme to it! it made me feel happy! good work!
Emma
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