you are my pain
in the rain
i am insane
you are my crutch
i love you so much
you are my sun in the night
you are my shimmering light
you are the diamond in the sky
you are the twinkle in my eye
you are my strength the pulls me through
everyday when i'm with you
you are the heat i feel when im cold
as the winter days grow old
you are the comforting voice on the phone
encouraging me when i am alone
Author notes
cliche poem for contest
....Edited due to the comments i have deleted the last 2 lines... i hope it works better now
A contest entry
- Cliche' Ridden, Poetic Device Rhyming Contest by piccola.
450 points, ended August 3, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITTEN POEMS ONLY!! GIVE ME YOUR BEST! by xXxIceQueenxXx.
800 points, ended July 31, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CASH IN ON A CLICHE. by tarcus.
602 points, ended September 22, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is this cliche enough??
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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he is the blade of my knife
as i want to end my life.
Is it over then?
If not for these last two lines you would have had a gold shiney thing for your efforts.
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True twist in the end. Beside the dangerous nature of that last two lines, it is a brilliant end to something so sickeningly sweet. Very raw and a coat of darkness and hopelessness shines through the words.. pun intended.
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you are teh diamond in the sky.the twinlel in my eye..Love is wonderful but I didnt like the last two lines...
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Well the poem does fit the title nicely. The only thing is, you have this beautiful love poem, and then it takes a turn for the worst the last two lines!
Anyway, thanks for entering my contest. -
I love cliche stuff sooo much and when I see a contest that forbids it I just enter anyway and laugh in the face of danger. I love the ending thank you for the entry
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The ending took me by surprise too! I was just beginning to be lulled by your words when you twisted the knife so to speak. Good luck with the contest. This is a great entry.
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oh my!!! that was great!!! the dark twist in the end was great!!! i loved it and it was really cliche, and i love cliche stuff!!! lolz. great job!!!
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Yay fo cliche rhymes. The dark twist at the end totally took my by surprise but its great. Love to.. Well death. Good luck Amy!
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Wow this is scary from you Not really i liked this alot. "he is the blade of my knife
as i want to end my life" That was my favorite part. Great job. This was very well written with lots of great detail well somewhat. Lovers it.
..<3..
Shelly :] -
I like what you have done in this poem showing how enraptured one can be when in love and the abrupt twist in the ending lines where everything has dramatically done a 360. Good use of cliche, too. Good luck in the contest.
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lmao
well they asked 4 cliche and in this poem thts exactly wht they got lol good job! sad part is that ive had x bfs say all this stuff and it had me saying "aww i love u" 
xoxo- christina
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