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In The End

In the end there was the darkness
and the darkness consumed
it gripped hold and squeezed
leaving nothing but emptiness
and loneliness in its wake

In the end there was the sadness
and the sadness pressed in
it enveloped and smothered
leaving tears and longing
and grief as it took hold

In the end there was the anger
and the anger burnt hot
it parched and blistered
leaving blackness and ugliness
and nothingness when it expired

In the end it became unbearable

In the end..... no one even cared




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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    September 13, 2008

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    This reminded me of that old line, "Not with a bang but a whisper." I'm not sure if you're referring to a relationship or something larger by this (life on earth) but either way, this is the way it usually ends. There's a lot of wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth but when it's all over, it's as if it never happened, just stillness. And time keeps moving on. Powerfully written.

    Mark


    • AusStar
      September 13, 2008
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      I wrote this about 2 weeks before J & I split, I keep reading it now and can't beleive it was me that wrote it. I'm glad I did though, it makes me realise just how bad it was. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going outside to fly a kite :-) Can't you just see me wrapped up in a tree like Charlie Brown saying 'oh good grief'


  • Abner
    September 3, 2008

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    In the end this is a very nice poem, very interesting..the repetition is great..its also very imagery..you got me thinking.

    thanks for sharing keep it up..
    by the way i miss your works.

  • Choclate Pudding 3
    August 27, 2008

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    In The End, It was overall purrfect....

    This poem interested me because the title is the same a song by Linkin Park, which I love, love, love that song, and In The End that was a great poem.


  • silverscent gold member
    August 24, 2008

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    This is very powerful. The repetition moves smoothly through the poem effortlessly. It's a sad reality from a pessimistic point of view, something more and more people can relate to.
    May I make one suggestion? On the final line, I don’t think the word “but” serves enough purpose, in my opinion it may sound as ‘good’ or smoother without “but” being there.
    "In the end it became unbearable
    in the end...no one even cared"

    Thanks for sharing.


    • AusStar
      August 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, I liked your suggestion and I made the alteration.

  • celadia
    August 17, 2008

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    It's a very big ending, the way you have it here, very dramatic but it's true that in the end no one cares. I take it it's about a relationship, I felt, a big, emotion filled, sweeping relationship as if the lovers were titans or something, it should do well if you read it in public.


  • XxYoru-OkamixX
    August 13, 2008

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    lol, i like this.... fer someodd reason it reminds me of the end of the world... XD yeah.... but great write ^^


  • Puppydog gold member
    August 9, 2008

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    BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED!!!!!

    Oh how I know how one can become so sad and yet so angry also, and it is at these times when we are most alone as no one really wants to know us when we feel this way.


  • Grateful
    July 31, 2008

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    i really like this poem the way it is written...it is like walking along with the emotions that capture your attention...all the very best...


  • kira1115
    July 30, 2008

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    *hugs* I know what you mean by this poem. All of the hurt, the anger and pain, but the thing is no one really cares. *hugs*

    • AusStar
      July 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I had a boss once that said, there is no point complaining about anything, because half the people don't care and the other half are GLAD!! Thanks for your comment :-)

1 - 12 of 12