Like the palest of shadows,
Evelyn stands on the freeway.
The lanes are empty
and she is practicing.
Practicing dying.
Tomorrow morning
during rush hour
she will jump from the overpass
into the oncoming traffic.
She hopes it won’t hurt
but she doesn’t really care.
It needs to be done.
Ray is coming home
from The Rail when he sees her.
She is so pale
she almost glows.
Like his mother.
So much like his mother.
Ray pulls his El Camino to the side of the freeway
and rolls down his window.
“Lady, you okay?” he asks.
She’s about his age.
She might be pretty if she smiled.
She’s not smiling.
Evelyn sees the young man
parked in his cerulean vehicle
under the street light.
He looks concerned.
About her.
“Yes”, is all she says
before she begins to walk away.
“Wait. You can’t be out walking
alone at night like this.
It’s not safe.”
“It’s been safe so far.”
Ray unfolds himself
from his front seat
trying not to look like a spider seeking prey.
He moves slowly.
He doesn’t want to alarm her.
Yet.
She notes how far it is from his boots
to his curly blond hair.
Like an angel he looks with the
the street light behind him like that.
He thinks he holds her gaze.
She knows she holds his.
Again, she says, “I’ll be okay.
It’s been safe so far.”
Ray’s voice is soft and almost sweet
as he tells her
what he feels is the truth.
“It’s not safe tonight, Honey.”
Evelyn sighs and shakes her head.
He flows toward her like lava.
Hot, slow, deadly.
Slowly, it seems, because years of practice
have made the process second nature,
she takes her revolver
out of the back of her jeans.
He is in lane two of the six lane freeway
by the time she has emptied the weapon.
He looks a little surprised
as he lays there
already beyond his last breath.
A shiver shakes Evelyn like her father does.
A delicious chill starts at her knees
and travels slowly up her body
past her arms and onto her face.
No longer pale
she is flushed with pleasure.
Shivering and moaning softly
she almost falls.
“Oh. God. That was good.”
Evelyn thinks as she walks to her motorcycle.
She can’t sleep under
the overpass.
She hates the smell of blood.
And she can’t go home
for the same reason.
“Tulsa. Tulsa sounds good.”
She takes a moment to reload
before she rides away.
Author notes
This looks long but I promise you it is a quick, interesting read.
My inspirations were Options:
11) Men Vs. Women - Let's all face it - men and women are truly different species. Write about it. Be humorous, angry, serious - whatever you want.
~*~*~*~*~
28) Paint a portrait with words.
~*~*~*~*~
38) What is your reason to live?
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
It's all good.
Comments
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It was an interesting read. An amazing story, indeed.
I am so intrigued. I want to understand, more than anything, why she killed him!!! Then she moves on, to live, when she'd planned to kill herself. Hmm... interesting sequence of events.
I love how you developed character and background so quickly and effortlessly.
Great job and good luck!!!
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I think I can answer most of your questions. Evelyn killed Ray because he was going to kill her. Remember the clues: he notes she looks like his mother [he hates his mother but loves her as well. he is killing her through other women. I hear this is common in serial killers] like a spider seeking prey…he doesn’t want to alarm her. Yet…….It’s not safe tonight, Honey………hot, slow and deadly……..She also killed him because her father mistreated her sexually for long enough that she had begun to like it almost as much as she hated it. “A shiver shakes Evelyn like her father does.” [probably should have said ‘father did’ because he won’t be doing it again. She was about to kill herself out of self loathing for killing her abusive father [She hates the smell of blood.
And she can’t go home
for the same reason.] She got some sort of sexual charge from killing Ray and [believe it or not] knowing she could feel that way again, gave her a reason to live. The thing I don’t understand myself, is how did she get to have such a quick draw. What happened that allowed her to practice till it was second nature.
Additional questions answered cheerfully. All trophies accepted with sincere gratitude.
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Ahhh... thank you for that clarification.
Makes total sense now.
You have to forgive me, I'm on pretty powerful antibiotics and painkillers right now - so I'm little fuzzy and not as quick as usual.
I love this. I really love it even more now that I know the full story behind it.
Good question though: why is it second nature?
And why does she get a sexual charge from killing?
Interesting...
Thanks again for your wonderful response!!!
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