Excruciating insanity consumes
her tormented soul.
She plummets into the oblivion
of your tempered-steel world.
How your passions stitch themselves
to her foolish heart,
creating intricate tapestries
of innocence
lost to lust's perversion.
A cataclysmic decline
from strong independance
to pathetic, needful weakness,
your mercurial presence reduces
her to wanton slavery.
Her body marred by your
malicious knives,
her soul claimed by your
brazen desire,
her heart a trembling promise
in your cruel hands -
Her mind, twisting with
want for only you.
Author notes
I chose option 9 for this poem
I used the following words:
cataclysmic
mercurial
intricacies (intricate)
oblivion
excruciating
tempered
insane
marred
brazen
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to be as critical (or not) as you like...
Comments
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Hahaha!!! Great job!
I love the words you chose... some of my favorites. Especially "cataclysmic", "intricacies", and "tempered".
You had a few spelling and grammatical errors. I'm gonna do my best to point those out to you so you can correct them (please don't be offended, I am just doing what I'd want you to do for me):
L3, should be "plummets"
L9, "lusts" should be "lust's" because it shows ownership
L10, "delcine" should be "decline"
Next to last line, I think you meant "twisting"
Otherwise, great job!!! I especially loved
"How your passions stitch themselves
to her foolish heart,
creating intricate tapestries
of innocence" -
That is just stunningly beautiful.
You chose the right option for you, apparently - because you rock with weaving words together!
Thanks for entering and good luck! -
-
Thanks SO much for pointing out those errors!!! I'll go fix them now
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