i remember his touch
the frankenstein fingers
that so casually drew me
awake from a sleep
marked by dreams
that quickly died out
and i brushed
the hand aside
because i didn’t need his fucking
help getting out of bed
Author notes
Won bronze in this contest: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2415345
In a list
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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short but to the point
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This is wonderful! Quite powerfull!
The ending is great, and it flows so gracefully. Great write!
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We like to be able to be independent and do things for ourselves. I do like the ending and congrats on the bronze trophy.
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I truly adored this. The ending packed a punch that oddly felt good
It's short but says everything that needs to be said. Thank you for entering, and good luck 
Jeanette*~
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wow!!
well what can i say about this one ...sweet and ahhhhh ending lol...liked it very much))
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wow.....
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Wow. I love the contrast between the sweet first stanza, and the passively brutal other two stanzas. The description in both parts is truly authentic, creative, and believable.
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short and sweet, yet not so sweet. its quite dark and that's what i like about it.
and i get that your not talking about Frankestein's "monster", it just a play on words sort of.
Bravo and keep up the good work
Love Ya,
VampireAlexia
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hm. I enjoyed this.
'frankenstein fingers' makes me think of ambiguity, and pointlessness.
Ending works well for me. I like your style.
And the uncapped 'i'. Makes me think you don't want the 'i' in the poem to be too important...as it's not really about them.
-joan.
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hmm dark, darkity, dark. Oy, the rage! this whispers out of this...
"the frankenstein fingers">>> I like this. Frankenstein was such a sad character, I pitied him in the book...how terrible to be thought a monster.
"marked by nothing">>mmm....it's okayy
otherwise, me gusta lo mucho!
Este poema es escrito con un bolígrafo inteligente, y tu debes estar orgulloso. Tú debes parar empollar y estar orgulloso de su talento.
Meg~
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"the frankenstein fingers" wasn't a reference to the monster.
I need to work on that last line for the first stanza. I had something else, but didn't like it. I'll change it. -
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I'd hope that it wasn't a reference to the monster. I don't remember the monster ever having a name; Frankenstein was the monster's creator (and now I see the contest's prompt).
Did you end up changing the last line of the first stanza? -
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Yeah, it's different now than it used to be ("marked by nothing"). But, I'm still not sure about it; I'll probably tweak it a little more 'til I'm satisfied.
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i know, i just thought of it... i was sort of rambling there, my brain is currently on shuffle
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