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Break *My* Bones

I do ((not)) have a problem
                                    [with you]
it’s more c o m p l i c a t e d than
the sky glitter we used to count at midnight
when my toxic tears leaked out onto your hand
as we held each other {tight}
                          p
you used to barf u pixie wishbones
and stop the sticks from bashing me;;
but let them now
-just break my bones-
because you have bro/ken me.

Author notes

Option 1. Write about Love (try not to be cliché)

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Bruised.Roses
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good poem very dirty pretty in my books I love that style great job keep writting thanks for entering and good luck
    xox
    Tash


  • JustsimplyKatiee.
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck babe.


  • SaviDropKick.Oi.
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good job and good luck,
    Love,
    Mouse


  • Rheea gold member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have never read anything like this before, I like it very much the style what did Luck call it? DP? wow
    It sings. Very very nice. the subject was sad the style was something I would like to try.


    • Brit-Girl
      July 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Yes, DP stand for Dirty-Pretty which is a style of poetry.
      thanks for the comment!



  • Luckintheshadows
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! this is great, I have to admit, I'm really starting to like the whole DP thing, I love the creativeness of it.
    I love your poem - especially "when my toxic tears leaked out onto your hand " <--- superb!
    Thanks for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • Darkwell
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    such a strong message woven in such a sweet way. i dig all the metaphors alot too like toxic tears an sky glitter. a heart that goes this deep deserves to be filled so dont forget that

    WTG! Good luck in the contest


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow i loved this write Its so greatly written. I loved how you did this "I do ((not)) have a problem [with you]" I so wish i could write like this but i suck :]. Needless to say Awesome write i so loved it.
    ..<3..
    Shelly

    • Brit-Girl
      July 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for taking the time to comment on my poems! I really appreciate it and will certainly be checking out some of your work in the near future!
      thank you,

1 - 9 of 9