smell of rain
sizzled fish
desert drains me dry
Author notes
Who doesn't like a good Ku?
In a list
A contest entry
- 'ku 'ku cachoo --enter your haiku here :) by sailor ptolema.
1050 points, ended August 4, 2008, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Critique Desired.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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HOODWINKED !!!
I should have picked up a clue with the title, but NO! I read the first two lines and thought sea side fish fry, and BAM! Line 3 took the wind out of my errant sails! Good Aha Moment here!
You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today because WE CARE!
Dennis
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smell of rain
sizzled fish
desert drains me dry
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maybe:
smell of rain
and sizzled fish
the desert drains me dry
I think it might read better with the contraction and the definite article. What do you think?
I Like this. I get the picture of being stranded in Death Valley. Not a fun place to be lost
thanks for entering and g'luck
-sailor ptolema
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I like it! Classic haiku. My fav part was the part about the fish.
...
Well there were only so many parts, but that was definitely my favorite! -
I like good haiku, though your AN seems to imply you think yours is good...HAHAHAH!!!
But it is, so...have some humble pie and grin to yourself for this creation...
"desert drains me dry" Kick-ass ending...and I LOVED the first 2 lines, but this is even better
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that's not what I meant! I meant...*sighs*
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I'm just playing hell with you
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