I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”
- Jack Kerouac
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there is a tremor here;
rifts between me
and freedom
I am a wall of shatter-capacity;
tugging down bits of heaven -
pulled from both my eyelids -
and flitting from one dream to the next.
In a breath, I am six thousand places
waiting
for six thousand more
Great God! I'd rather be
a pagan, caught on a silent shore,
tossed by waves and shook with fear,
rather than being this man
locked inside his own screaming head,
waiting for the truth to be real.
Author notes
since not too many seem to have much of a knowledge of literature in general, this poem connects with one by Wordsworth. Find it on your own, if you so desire.
(read me)
www.theeverlastingfallout.com
A contest entry
- Current mood swing: Clutter → Confusion → Chaos by Never Fall in Love.
1000 points, ended August 4, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I do't like your third stanza. And you used the word God. I'll be checking back.
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Well, the word God I will not change, it's necessary for the idea I am getting across, especially since that line is quoted from a poem by Wordsworth, which is an essential compliment to understanding the point of this piece. Perhaps I could change it to "great buddha!" or something like that, but then it would lose the majority of the poem's power, which I would hate to see.
-www.theeverlastingfallout.com -
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true that.
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don't*
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Bravo! Standing in Applause!
Indeed, the world is too much with us. Your understanding of life and human interaction is keen and quite perceptive.
We haven't changed much since the 1800's have we?
Your last stanza is the clincher in this poem. How few truly see truth for what it is rather than a perception of what it is.
This is well written with its wonderful form, line breaks perfectly placed, and timeless message. I do hope this poem will be duly recognized in this contest. It is simply superb. A pleasure to have found your verse. Thank you.
~Pamela
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I appreciate your compliment, and yea, it's a sad fact that Wordsworth's poem is just as relevant now as it was when it was originally written. Reading and listening to the poets and writers of past centuries makes me wonder if we really can work ourselves out from under our curses...
-Thefallout
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