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Raising My Conscious


And I blankly stare in amazement
As I sense a wonder in myself,

You make the situations
Like a mystery film maker and
Then intelligently find solutions
Like a poet does,

When you make me realize
The worth of my tears

And how each part of mine
Is adorable, as you are
Even how to get gold of nail,

Or how I could, or I still can

When these saline and bitter tears
Wash over my eyes, freeing me
From webs and raising my conscious

To appreciate your wonders, and mine…

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    August 6, 2008

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    Humm..you are very close to the thought of HIS relationships..I love the depth..and my thanks for entering such a wonderful write in my contest...


  • Polaja Greeters member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love the opening lines of this poem - I think that they draw the reader in wonderfully I have to agree with Bonnie about the title though - maybe just 'raising' instead of 'rising' would work a little better - all in all though this is a wonderful poem with a beautiful message - your devotional poems are all lovely and I wish you good luck in the contest!

    Keep writing

    Polly

    • The Pole Star
      July 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank You... Actually English is not my first language so I commit a few mistakes, especially grammatical ones, but I hope that I am able to overcome them sooner or later... Anyways, how are you doing?


  • BonnieQ silver member
    July 28, 2008

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    Wonderful Praise

    This is a wonderful praise to our Father and His Christ; albeit, I suggest that "rising my conscious" does not grammatically work: it should be "raising my consciousness." or do you mean conscience? That feeling of guilt or innocence?

    Nevertheless, all who write for our Lord are winners already, especially with this great message you've presented.

    BonnieQ

    • The Pole Star
      July 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for pointing that error out, and a thanks a lot for reading my work... Actually English is not my first language, so I commit a few grammatical mistakes, but I hope I'll overcome it...someday...lol

1 - 5 of 5