And I blankly stare in amazement
As I sense a wonder in myself,
You make the situations
Like a mystery film maker and
Then intelligently find solutions
Like a poet does,
When you make me realize
The worth of my tears
And how each part of mine
Is adorable, as you are
Even how to get gold of nail,
Or how I could, or I still can
When these saline and bitter tears
Wash over my eyes, freeing me
From webs and raising my conscious
To appreciate your wonders, and mine…
A contest entry
- soap... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended August 6, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Humm..you are very close to the thought of HIS relationships..I love the depth..and my thanks for entering such a wonderful write in my contest...
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I really love the opening lines of this poem - I think that they draw the reader in wonderfully
I have to agree with Bonnie about the title though - maybe just 'raising' instead of 'rising' would work a little better - all in all though this is a wonderful poem with a beautiful message - your devotional poems are all lovely
and I wish you good luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly

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Thank You... Actually English is not my first language so I commit a few mistakes, especially grammatical ones, but I hope that I am able to overcome them sooner or later... Anyways, how are you doing?
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Wonderful Praise
This is a wonderful praise to our Father and His Christ; albeit, I suggest that "rising my conscious" does not grammatically work: it should be "raising my consciousness." or do you mean conscience? That feeling of guilt or innocence?
Nevertheless, all who write for our Lord are winners already, especially with this great message you've presented.
BonnieQ


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Thanks for pointing that error out, and a thanks a lot for reading my work... Actually English is not my first language, so I commit a few grammatical mistakes, but I hope I'll overcome it...someday...lol
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