flowers
sprang up
her feet
within an invisible charm
whistling on the
misty morn
sensual lips curve
to form a smile
of an embraced whistle
onto the milky morn
as a lock of her hair
wet from the shower
flicked back a stare
Author notes
prompt: 50 words or less
I need a man to respect me and love for me,
and not the image in the mirror.
In a list
A contest entry
- Women poets only - I don't just need a man, I need love. by paulcreates.
600 points, ended August 5, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a beautifully sensual write. I like the tactile feel of the scene you've painted. Thank you for your entry in this contest. In the last line you may have meant "stare" instead of "stair"
Paul -
This is a very interesting poem.. The flow was nice and smooth, though the image was a little hard to see.. I'm not sure if it's because the metaphors that you used didn't seem to fit or what.. But it was hard to see the image that you tried to create..I like the emotion behind this though.. thank you very much for sharing! best of luck in the contest!
Angel
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thank u
thank u for the wonderful response and comment on my poem. I was trying to portray the idea of an independent woman that only the mirror reflects back love of confidence coming back to her. I guess I didn't pull it off to my viewers as that. Saddie23
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