Casually reading, hardly glancing till I
catch your name, find myself
wondering why anyone might
discuss you
and my mind explodes towards the
streaming paranoia of what you have done.
Feel the short breath rammed shut
within my rapidly constricting throat,
the pulsing momentum implodes,
letters dance tauntingly
along my screen. The hands begin to
quicken – the tremors only you
create in me. No one has ever
filled me as you do, I can’t control the
you effect in me.
Sweat sickened eyes film to the blurred ‘so sad to
hear of his passing…’
and the moment inks itself indelibly
upon the already sharded imagination.
It isn’t true; tell myself I’d know, of all
I’d know.
Life falls into ice, for a fragment my
cosmos ceases to exist.
No you
within me.
No you
to sustain me.
No you
to inspire me,
No you
to uphold me,
create me
or make me.
Find myself shredding a faith,
which calmly smiling deity might play this callous joke till
reason wakes and slaps my insensibilities –
whispers the absurdity of miscomprehension and
the world of you
and me
begins to breathe again.
Author notes
This just describes a horrible second when I misread something and thought someone I love was dead, wrote if quite quickly so this is only a draft.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow!
I just had something similar to this yesterday. Except it was a mistaken phone call message. The line: "Life falls into ice"
in my case it was an escape of air. Shock. People in my life are my age or younger. Not a time for folks to be leaving into the next relm. Very touching poem you've penned.
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Breath taking
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I can only imagine, the one line jumped out at me that describes to me the whole feeling of the poem, and how you must have felt
.............life falls into ice. I thought this was an awesome poem about that cold that hits you after the realization of losing someone you love, knowing they will never be there with you again. I loved this poem.
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Great Write
Nicely done...good flow, good writing.
Nevadapoet -
I'm not surprised with the quality of the "draft". Moments like that are infused with energy and you have gathered and shaped it into pure emtion, which is striking. Beautifully written. And I am happy it was an exercise wrought from error rather than fact. Geo
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Great Draft
I would feel like someone had drained the life out of me if I read something like that...How horrible to feel such panic and then horrible again to feel relief that it wasn't that person, but someone else would have to suffer....Great write.
~mandie~
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This is so great for a first draft! ...and I hate it when that happens!! I know how you feel. It wasn't so serious as death for me, but I still know that feeling all too well... Great write
JADE RAYNE*
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the world of you
and me
begins to breathe again.
wow.
i love that
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I reallyyyy like this!!!!!
I can't image what you must of felt like when you thought they were dead =[ at least their not ^.^ Nice poem, keep up the good work -
What a brilliant description, I've had one of those moments and isn't it amazing how your heart just stops beating, or it feels like it anyway
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