Who in bloody hell left this wooden box here?
It is far to big and heavy for me, I fear.
What is inside? I can't help but to wonder.
I will pull up my chair to sit and ponder.
~~~
It is quiet in here.
I have nothing to fear
What's it like out there?
Are there monsters that scare?
~~~
I have a glazed doughnut and some hot coffee
And a bag of purloined chocolate toffey.
I will find the source of this errant wood box
Or barring that, I will pry off the locks.
~~~
Where am I? What's this place?
I'm sick of this small cramped space.
Something out there smells so good.
I would get out if I could.
~~~
I wonder if there is a return address?
Oh... It is fake. This is a horrible mess.
I can't believe those idiots in shipping.
Someone screwed up. The department is slipping.
~~~
When was it that I last ate?
How much longer must I wait?
I am just a small fellow,
Soft, fluffy, and yellow.
~~~
This box is not even properly labeled.
The sender surely must have been disabled.
Perhaps I will have just a small peek inside
Yuck! What is it, with jaws gaping so wide?!
~~~
Sorry I ate fast and rude
But, there's light and so much food.
Brown wrapped treat, marked UPS;
Rich and tasty, but such a mess.
Author notes
Some think inside the box, some think outside of the box. Sometimes it is better to leave the box alone.
A contest entry
- The Box by cricketjeff.
550 points, ended July 30, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Great stuff and perfectly on theme! Showing how creative you can be while staying firmly inside the box.
Sorry I have taken so long to get to the comments, not just because I'm scared of your alien.
Thanks a lot for entering what has been one of the most fun contests I have run.
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Haha. I was hoping you did not get a birthday gift like the one I wrote about. Thanks for reading and commenting. It was an excellent contest.
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This box is not even properly labeled.
The sender surely must have been disabled.
Perhaps I will have just a small peek inside
Yuck! What is it, with jaws gaping so wide?!
Wonderful!
I'm still wondering what it was that you ate. Butthat's alright, you keep that a secret
This was fun, you're right you know. I wish I could leave that box alone...lol
always,
Jin
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LOL. The fluffy yellow alien got to eat the UPS guy. He tasted like glazed donuts.
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Haha.. that's what you get, UPS guy! Very funny stuff. The back and forth is keeps the interest level high, and you can feel the tension build throughout.
Excellent job, and good luck!
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. It is exactly the effect that I was hoping to project. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Some think inside the box, some think outside of the box. Sometimes it is better to leave the box alone.
heheheheehhehehehe thats good lol....... as for the poem that was awesome... loved it put a smile on my face....... good luck in contest a sure gold i would think.. -
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I am glad that you enjoyed this poem. It is the first time I have tried one where I had two characters with their own first-person thoughts.
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This is clever! I especially like the final stanza:
"Brown wrapped treat, marked UPS;"
Don't the UPS employees wear brown?!
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Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed it. And yep, they do wear brown wrappers. He He.
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I love this, and you know me i just love openin "boxes" so i can relate
All the best in the contest my friend
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I am glad you liked it. If you get a strange box from afar watch out for small fluffy aliens. hehe.
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LOL
Top quality.
I like the sound of this rabid yellow fluffy creature.
Hehe, love the last stanza. The splitting up idea was a good one.
Good luck in the contest, i'm sure they'll enjoy this spin on it. x
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I am glad you liked it. I guess I was trying to figure out if it was better to be in the box, out of the box or leave the box alone.
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Very well done
I too have wrestled with 'the box'.
I prefer the pyramid myself.
Anyways...entertaining, amusing and wise.
wolf
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Thanks. Pyramids are interesting but dont stack to well.. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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lmao! hahahaha man you did a greta job cousin... veyr thinking outside the box style
loved it...
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It was both... thinking outside the box and thinking inside the box. hehe. I am glad you liked it.
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Bravo my friend. Great write. I agree it's sometimes better to leave the box alone. Do you still have some of those purloined chocolate toffey's.
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Regretfully, after the meal, they were used to cut the taste.
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Superb
'tis a most excellent write indeed. Of course, imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this humorous write.
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the comments and applause. I am glad I could make you smile.
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Me too.
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I agree, if it's labeled and addressed to you then ok, go ahead, if not, leave well enough alone.
A nice take on the prompt.
Good luck in the contest...Sue
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I can sympathize with the judge. This cliched phrase some times irritates me.
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