Listen with me to the stillness of serene sleep,
as I walk a shaded lane of quiescence.
I reach for autumn leaves of solace, where
calm cessation, restful refuge,
fill the windlessness of tender haze
covering me with tranquil dreams,
solitude of peaceful slumber.
It is the trance of quiet times,
passive, silent, motionless as
busy brooks become wide meanders across
lakes of my existence.
I pause for this moment,
I feel my heart uplifted to the sway
of gentle leaves along my way,
leading to quietude that I find
in ultimate sojourn of my mind.
Author notes
Title is Latin: Walk in Peace.
Charcoal by poet.
A contest entry
- #107 Living peace in the moment. by Lyndon.
5250 points, ended August 24, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Richard this poem is so very artfully done and I don't think I've seen as many terms of quietude in one place. It's like a verbally relaxing massage. The picture is nicely done too. An artist.
Paul
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I see an essence echoed here. Starts with serene
and finishes with sojourn. There is a journey, but
no steps are taken. It is a moment when one is able
to step inside themselves, fusing the restless body
of reality to the still soul in need of quietude.
Excellent fit to prompt. Blue
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beautiful, such imagery a plessure to read my freind best of luck in the contest
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I really like some of the images that come to mind with your words. There is nothing so peaceful as the slight motion and sound of water as in the center stanza, especially when that water is a placid peaceful lake of existence.
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stillness of serene sleep??? u mean death/! uh! uh!
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Thank you ,sanmdr
You have made several comments and I appreciate them very much.
Yes, I do mean death. I prefer to see it as a serene, peaceful sleep...it gives me comfort to think of my dead mother sleeping quietly and peacefully. I miss her every day. I do not see death as something horrid.
But, I do not mean the poem is about death. I mean the moment is as quiet and peaceful as I imagine death would be. I am talking of that wonderful time when we feel our hearts are at ease and everything is comfortable in our life... a walk in a quiet lane like the one in the picture. -
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oh jees dont even dream.. uh I mean death to be so serene...its takes lot of courage to be singing ..nearer to thee..and wishing for death... anyway it all makes the same sense to me in the poem... u r too sharp to put it that way.. good writing...
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I think I can explain the cliche...'tranquil dreams' 'peaceful slumber' these are examples because they are oft used words to describe dreams and sleep. Used many times in poems and in stories. What a poet strives for is to find a metaphor that is fresh and new as you did by using the latin in your title. 'Tranquil dreams' to me would be something like 'closing eyes i see the shade of indigo appear'...if you put it in context of the poem the reader will smile thinking it is a beautiful thought so it means the same thing. Your charcoal drawing is beautiful, as an artist uses his mind to paint what may or may not be there, so the poet writes the way he sees the world from his own imagination. Love, C
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thank you for your comments on my poem.
I am interested in your comment because I do not really understand what cliche means. Can you show me an example in my poem please? -
this is interesting - not brilliant but it has been well constructed and thought through. It is probably a little too cliched for my liking but that said it works well to the prompt.
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Some lines really stant out here: "It is the trance of quiet times" and "in ultimate sojourn of my mind." Nice choice of certain words.
I like this approach of finding peace and serenity through nature.
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very peaceful, I love this..
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I do enjoy the calm and quiet feel to this piece, the uplifting nature of the write and how you equate nature to your state of mind. Lovely job. Love, C
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good write... Restful refuse?! the drawing is also good..
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thank you, sanmdr
I changed the 's' to a 'g'. Refuge is the word I typed...the fairies must have changed it for some reason!!
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somehow dont believe it...haha ..kidding..
cause I too have had such fairies trouble ..naughty..
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