My love! My love!
How you abandon me.
I follow your every movement
breathe you as deeply as possible
drink you with my eyes and ears
and yet, I do not know you at all.
In my mind are representations
from every observation I ever make
all for the express purpose of understanding you.
Though I am as unable to comprehend
as I have ever been, if not less able.
You are so coy and shy, teasing me with
senses and flooding me with information.
In the end, I have no concept,
I have no comprehension,
and I have no idea where to begin
to find your essence.
I realize that the only avenue
that will give me any solace
is your complete acceptance
without understanding. You will be
my everything and I will accept
and I will not need to understand.
I will give you all my love
my complete acceptance
and live on faith alone.
In devastating awe.
Author notes
This is a love poem to the universe, in case anyone doesn't get that.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Poetic Universe by Sprite.
1600 points, ended August 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I like this, a very original concept. I never would have thought to write a love poem to the entire universe! This is an amazing experience to read.
Well penned.
~lost
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Very nice! I hate love poems, generally on principle
But not this one.
~sailor ptolema
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I know. How many times can you hear the moon, stars, flowers, garden, kiss, legs, before you puke bile. Thanks for the comment.
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ahahaha i agree!
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I like the flow and tone, and find this very easy to read and digest. I thought the use of "devastating awe" was effective. Well written as a poem.
The scope of the mystery of space is encompassed in your words, though without anything concrete to gnaw on ourselves. How could we ever understand the vastness of space for instance? I have often tried to do so, and it is a losing battle. Nothing that we are exposed to in our every day lives has prepared us to understand something without an end.
Your poem is a head piece. One designed to allow us to wonder. However, I would have preferred some descriptive and explanatory passages to convey the idea of the universe. The way it is written, though quite nice, has left us inside your mind instead of jumping to ours.
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Oops, forgot!
On word language and artful content.
!
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This is so very beautiful and yet I see so
much spiritual/abstract that the portions of the visual universe aren't cohesive to any concrete images. Had you brought in a few colors, patterns,textures to the romantic references and wove them through, I'd say we'd have an EPIC piece on our hands.
For someone who recognizes such universal interior,
I'd love to see the handles on the awesome.
Albeit for the perceptive criteria, a lovely compromise
Thank you! -
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The entire point is that there are no such thing as concrete images. The universe is entirely a mental image because there is no way to verify anything we get from our senses. Every sensory perception can only be verified through another sensory perception, and all sensory perceptions are filtered, incomplete and flawed once they become part of our interior comparative universe. So, this was written to the perception of universe, as that is all we can ever know. What you asked for is contrary to the point. Thanks for your critique. I understand.
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I'm very respectful of such a response. I was coming from the symbol -concrete manifestation of this awe built in a moon, star, equipped solar system that monitors dark/light.etc. to the undefinable definition of its purposes. I know the Creator personally, so I understand the awe.
I also like to give credit to the creation.
...then, for this amazing apologetic for which you are convinced, my friend
.......... let it stand!
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We have places in our mind that process the images from our eyes, but then that information is sent to another place where it is processed no differently than the information of a dream. We can only compare things we think with other things we think. There is no objective database for us to compare anything to, because all databases are manmade based on our synthetic systems for describing the universe.
We can never know anything about the universe, only about our descriptions of it.
The descriptions are more a mirror of how we perceive than what we perceive. Since there is no way to compare our way of perceiving with an objective way of perceiving (non perspective), there is no way for us to ever know the scope of what we don't know at any given moment. This means that in essence the universe really is, when all is said and done, no more than a dream. -
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Wow. What powerful thoughts!
I found such a statement to be extremely intelligent and interesting from a psychological angle. However, I think that our Creator/Lord has esteemed us enough to give us, his beloved human beings, everything around us to appreciate the unseen rather than giving us a mirror image that is not attainable in any way. We know that the universe is a stir of purposeful heavenly bodies that cooperate with everything else. Otherwise, we may as well 'pretend' we're drinking from a straw.
I understand your idea.
We can disagree with respect.
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Blessings! -
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You miss the point. We cannot "know" we are drinking from a straw, but we can believe it. Know means proven, and logical systems cannot prove anything except within the limited rules of the system itself. The universe is not bound by the rules we make for our model of it. That is not to say that we do not have access to the universe outside of the realm of reason. Jesus said that people were healed through their belief, not through their scientific understanding, did he not? They were indeed healed, and there was no reasonable explanation given. I believe he said that those who followed him would do miracles as he had and more. I don't believe he ever mentioned that they would would publish the studies in a scientific journal for review by their peers, or that they would debate the philosophical ramifications with the academic community. No, reason is a dead end. It can only help us communicate. It will not lead us to understanding. That is the point. Only a faith that is able to grow and evolve is capable of bringing understanding. Thanks for your attention.
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You have to be racking up some serious good Karma by now... I have never thought of writing a love letter to the universe, maybe I should try...???
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Thank you for entering. I will comment later. ~ Joyce
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This poem is dead serious and has a deeper spritiual meaning than the language portrays. I don't think you're alone.
Love,
Amera♥
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'Devastating awe'...devastating words, these. Two must give that acceptance to each other totally and fully...but still, the devastation...hmmmm...Laugh if you must, but this one makes me thoughtful...Peace and best of luck in the contest, Rhonda
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OH, MY!!!
How very true this is of our comprehension of our beloved God, or as you view him, Our Spirit, this was just wonderful, and I do detect an underlying meaning to this awesome love you have for the spirit. Just breath-takingly beautiful, I loved this poem so much, just AWESOME, like our God/Spirit. YAY for Allan.
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