She sits in the corner
Singing softly
The blood dripping
On the cold, white tiles
She had been bad again
Daddy told her so
He beat her and yelled
She can't do anything right
He said she was stupid
And would never fly
He broke her down
Made her bleed again
And left her to die alone
More blood dripped
As she rose to her feet
To write her last message
Upon the walls
Her heart fluttered
As she felt her life drain
Daddy was right
She will never be free
She'd never fly
This cold white room
Has now become her grave
She looks at the words
That stain the walls
Shuts her eyes for the last time
And lets herself drift away
"Because All Fallen Angels Go To Hell"
Author notes
Pic Inspiration:
http://media.photobucket.com/image/fallen%20angels%20go%20to%20hell/deadirishrose/fallenangels.jpg?o=3
A contest entry
- in honor of angels by solitarytear.
425 points, ended August 18, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is a very touching poem. So sad. :[ A great write, however. Goes great with the picture.
"Daddy was right,
She will never be free,
She'd never fly,
This cold white room,
Has now become her grave,"
So hopeless! >.< ugh I just hate that this can actually happen. Human beings are so cruel to each other. D:
"Shuts her eyes for the last time,
And lets herself drift away."
Kind of a peaceful ending after all the gloom. :] I like that.
There was one minor mistake- easily fixable- that I caught:
"She looks at the words,
That stains the walls,"
This should be:
"She looks at the words,
That stain the walls,"
Otherwise the subject and verb don't agree. :]
Great write. Good luck in the contest!
-Lily♥
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Thanks for spotting that. My grammar sucks
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OMG that last line was superb!!! A breathtakimg peice, very sad. I enjoyed it alot. Good Job!
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A very sad piece, but extremely well written! It is horrible to think that things like this happen every single day without anyone being aware of it.
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wonderful imagery with your words. it makes the picture so vivid without really looking at the picture you got your inspiration from. great write!
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She had been bad again,
Daddy told her so,
He beat her and yelled,
She can't do anything right,
He said she was stupid,
And would never fly,
wow. this was amazing.
so much pain.
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Extremely vivid and definitely disturbing. There's an awful lot of pain going on here and you describe it effectively and honestly. Very sad. Thanks for sharing and all the very best in your contest.
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that was
realy amazing....i'm glad you took on that pic....you did it justices in my mind....thank you for the entrie and good luck
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Omg I never thanked you, how stuck up am I
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Thanks so much for the gold. I'd never won gold before! I enjoyed your comp
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i chosse for you
http://media.photobucket.com/image/dark%20angels/AmoebicMagician/angels_2.jpg?o=417 -
choices need....before i can give you a link
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