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Hidden Within

"why, sir, do you look upon me so?"

"because i never loved one not fair."

"your eyes, sir, express no such thing."

"because i pity my love."

"am i not enough for you sir?"

"no, child, you're not.

"you've covered yourself with misery's shades and barred the veils of light.

"you speak not a word of joy but walk behind the heels of hate.

"you hide yourself away, and yet i've seen your doeful smile.

"it did not repulse me but made me love what you lack the courage to show."

"you lie sir."

"i know you are scared.

"i'm not ignorant of any pain you felt.

"lower your shield and invite me into your arms.

"i know you want to love."

"do i sir?"

"i know you want to be loved."

"i need it not to live."

"your soul needs love to thrive."

"my soul is dead, sir.

"it was murdered by madness."

"not murdered, but wounded."

"you waste my time, sir.

i hold no feelings for you."

"than you say you do not love me.

say you hate me."

"i feel nothing."

"you say nothing. 

you can say nothing.

you cannot speak the word love."

"i have no need of that word, sir."

"are you afraid?"

"you accused me of it earlier, sir.

you said, 'i know you are scared.'"

"i did, and i belive it to be true.

"i love you too much to leave you alone, buried by depression.

"i love you too much to leave you alone while you cry yourself to sleep.

"i love you too much to leave you alone to hug and kiss nothing but air.

"i love you so much, i'll cry on the day that you tell me 'i love you.'"

Author notes

Snowing by manips-of-artist2

this poem isn't so much about the picture, as it was insipired by it.

A contest entry

while i appreciate the niceties, i would appreciate objective criticism more

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Comments


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh right.. yes I found it hard to relate this to the picture to be honest.

    I found the back and forth speaking kind of hard to read with all the "".. as Lady Dementia said, more of a tell instead of show.. I think perhaps you could have told the story in the 3rd person and that would have made it more poetic rather than story-like.

    I do however also think the tale is great that you have told! thank you!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is the first time I have ever seen a write like this. And although very good, it does seem, at least to me, to be all tell and no show. You have told a wonderful tale of unrequited love tho. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • peregrin
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this piece, and I also really like the picture.
    It is very good.