Beaten and battered
But no scars shall you see.
Because every wound
Was deep inside of me.
Stab marks and scratches
Decorate my heart;
Calm on the surface
Inside I'm torn apart.
The screams and yelling
Of this internal war:
I want them to cease!
The saga lasts evermore...
Questioning my strength
While lying in my bed,
I suddenly realize
It's all in my head.
Weak I am not
I rise up again.
The fight will continue
Till this battle I win.
Author notes
I had this up on the site a long time ago. So technically this is a prewrite, I just had to retype it. It's a poem I wrote to express my battle with Bipolar Disorder; hence the title. So this is option #3. Hope you enjoyed and understood.
A contest entry
- Am I crazy? {Options!!} by sins and sorrow.
575 points, ended August 3, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is inspiring. It really makes me want to take all of my sad emotions and beat them to the ground. lol I find it amazing how you can evoke an emotion and connection so easily with the reader. I love that about your poems.
Keep in the same verb tense. In the first stanza, you start with past tense and then switch to present tense for the rest of the poem. Please change that past tense to present tense because it really takes away from the emotion of the poem to notice little things like that. Third stanza: fifth line you should probably put a period there because it seems awkward flowing into the next line. They don't really go together.
Over all very well done. Those little changes will make it even better!
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one of my good friends suffers with bipolar disorder and i personally suffer from depression, but i can definatly relate to your piece and ive also witnessed what it does to people.
what i like that you wrote in this is how you plan to beat this disorder and not let it take over your life. that very inspirational. -
Very nice!
I really liked how you took this from personal experience and created a very deep write from it!
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!
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