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Revelation

Fetally curled
yielding to life’s pressures
I find myself
  teetering on the
      edge of nothingness.
I reach out…
and find solid ground.

I am limited only
by my perception’s walls.

With new found confidence,
my spirit illuminates
the darkness…
releasing me
from a prison
of my own making.



Author notes

In spite of the title, I saw this as a positive image…
Prompt: Picture
Picture Credit: http://mmebuterfly.deviantart.com/art/sadness-18304153
30 – 60 words (48 used)

A contest entry

Critical Comments Always Welcome

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Lucy.
    August 1, 2008

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    Wonderfully positive! I love the way you've taken this. Well done on the bronze, great write!


  • toomysterious
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very positive and forward thinking, life affirming. We are after all masters of our own fate.


  • Ithica silver member
    July 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love your life affirming infusion into this prompt!!! A very inspiring write!!! Congrats. on the Bronze too!!!


  • nature
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats


  • LadyDementia gold member
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Really quite stunning! And a positive look on it. An excellent read, good luck


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 27, 2008

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    I like the positive take!! I also can see the picture as strength infusing into him so he has the confidence to release his spirit! Excellent take


  • notorious gold member
    July 26, 2008

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    "Fetally curled"
    LOVE THAT. Great opening lines...and excellent phrase I would like to steal..

    "and find solid ground."
    How nice that must be.

    "by my perception's walls"
    Nifty!! This phrase conveys SO MUCH.

    "from a prison of my own making."
    Self-imposed torture...and then being released. Lots of story development here


  • LalalalaLoopstah gold member
    July 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I love it!!

    I think it is a powerful picture, much more so after I read your poem. Great writing!


    • KayJay
      July 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the read and comment... I appreciate it...


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a more positive approach than I took.. I love it.. me thinks I'm in trouble here.. you making this hard for me.. lol.. I really do love this poem..

    I really love the last stanza, you did a Fantastic job with this prompt.

    good luck in the contest

    kat


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You excel my friend at whatever is thrown at you! Great take on the prompt..Good luck !

1 - 11 of 11