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The Melancholy Intoxications

The wetting
blurring veils fall
thread by thread.
Unraveling hearts
Untying tightly kept knots
Waking the wetting of eyes
Waking the flame of lips
A Threaded lonely silk
The wetting soft cacophonous lullaby
Fresh! like change, Fresh! like Fearful  growth,
The wetting blur
Clenched lips
eyes set a blaze  salt added to fire
of unquenched desire
Diaphanous  Emotions

Melancholy Intoxications.

Incoherent vulnerabilities
the World seems
washed clean, slower paced, softer touch.

Distinct Scent, Wet Cement

dripping scent from Constructed Nature.
Vines sprouting with sped time
Blooms blue remembrances
Sutures for soul to heart

dreams eerie haunting
their bitter sweet tasting
lullaby taunting of a Past
desire watering
dripping
sipping back restraints
thread by thread falling
unraveling tightly kept hearts
untying tightly kept knots

dripping a collusion
Life sounding
“Drive or be Driven! Take the wheel!
  Awake from your haze!”
Sober.. Stillness..
A stiffness of the mind
The drying of spilled emotions
Life, Reality,
pounding,
throbbing,
flavors
fading
flavors staining
It becomes  a loud silence

nothing but the talk,

Of Plit and Plot

Aggressive and soft,

Dreams eerie haunting

flavors fading,
flavors staining

In the taunting of souls

Melancholy intoxications.

gentle joy, softly balanced smiles

drive on in the threads
An’ the unraveling times
In low hissing whispers
Of rain wind and life
It calls to me
“live Today
learn Yesterday,
prepare for Tomorrow”

Drive on, Drive on
Drive on

Author notes

"Cadaver Cafe: That's Some Fine Dining" i have read the rules
soulfulbubbles



An Old Favorite poem of mine i did 2 or so years ago but just added

A contest entry

please? and thank you...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • xCandieKissesx
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Cool!

    It flowed very well..My one problem was the repitition of the words "wetting" or "wet."

    Clenched lips
    eyes set a blaze salt added to fire
    of unquenched desire
    Diaphanous Emotions

    These lines were filled with imagery and creativity. Great job! Thanks for entering and best of luck to you!!


  • JustsimplyKatiee.
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck.


  • Fallen Hard
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it flowes really well and the pain it there!


  • wonderbandalice
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This flowed well, but I felt that the repition of the word 'wet' or 'wetting' took away from the poem. I also found it a little hard to grasp what exactly the poem is about.

    flow ( 9/10 )
    -subject ( 7/10 )
    -fitting title ( 4/5 )
    -word choice ( 3/5 )
    -originality ( 9/10 )
    -spelling and grammar ( 5/5 )
    -how much I like it, basically. ( 3.5/5 )

    Total - 40.5/50 OU 81%


  • Poetic Obscenity
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This really is an eye opener. Though the length was a bit over whelming and intimidating at first, due to my procrastinations..I find that once finishing this piece, over all it's quite amazing. Definitly worth the read. Though, it was long, i felt it flowed ever so well, which really made it seem a lot shorter than it was. Though, perhaps i feel there should be a continuation of the story line. In respects that i'm sure your talent could continue on the metaphors. Lovely write indeed. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.


  • FakingItForReal
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The only problem I found with this poem is in the last stanza, it should be 'It calls to me'

    Other than that, I LOVED it. Guess, this wasn't the harsh critique you ere expecting, but I can't tell you there's something wrong with it when there's not.
    The emotion was sincere,
    the imagery was great,
    a seamless write.

    Good luck in the contest


    • SoulfulBubbles
      July 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      thanks ^-^

      thank you for pointing that out. it needed it

      but i am glad u liked it and thanks for reading it

      and if you think of a harsh critique that the poem might need fire away i can take the shots

      (as long as the poem is completely finished (which it is) ) XP



      Kas K Bubbles
      Peace In Chaos Out

1 - 7 of 7