these will be my last desire
your lips, cold on mine
i feel my soul leaving my body
you have taken me to
a darkened place
where no one can hear
my screams
your touch, forbidden
even deadly
and yet how i want you so
and now i am gone
Author notes
dark lips by groveboxx
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired Quickie by Asylaarix.
300 points, ended July 27, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I did love the idea of this piece. It was very beautifully thought out. I wasn't too fond of the form however, and the I's should always be capitalized, I usually don't critique so much, but that is just a pet peeve of my own. I really did love the thought and the idea and your take on the prompt. It was very beautiful thank you so much for your entry and good luck in the contest!
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Pretty murky in thought completetion, but perhaps that's the way it's meant to be...
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