let me explain:
you were the nicest baby
i ever aborted
and i let you slip away
without knowing
how badly you needed me to hold
your insane goblets
your numb spoons
and cracked plate
i believed it was the same
game we played on the way to dallas
guessing what song played
on twelve year old knees
and was only right when it was
jingle bells
but your cockle shells
have inched away with the tide
and i am still playing a game
where you sit in front of me
mimicking my righteous posture
my stiff neck that tossed away your pills
because i said you were stronger than any egg
and never shied away from
‘show me yours and i’ll show you mine’
and always cried when you hurt
yes
you had such power when you
bruised
and i was aunt and antiseptic
plucking moons for your supper
speaking for you
as you chewed
because i was older
and better
a sister god
while you
only
stuttered
but i never knew flutes
could sound so angry
their notes scratching
like phones slamming
because you wanted to
pray in front of strangers
instead of kneeling on family soil
hands steepled over my turkey dinner
you had found something stronger
than my symphony
and i wanted you to pay
like an ungrateful child
leave you starving and sorrowing
in a world dim of me
and my warm words
so you left
no anchor to rest
your drifting boat
and rowed to a land
of frozen photos
nailed deep into silent
walls
and now
you ask me
what am i?
i am a murderer
a toothless savior
a tissue warrior
a sheepless shepherd
and my wings are made of
smoke and apologies
sick
that you are no longer under
my lungs
and slowly dying
when nothing
returns
after i speak your
name
i am a cello
playing sounds sweeter
than hushed honey
alone
in a spotlight
facing
an empty
room
Author notes
I was wrong...you can cry before AND after a piece is created.
In a list
A contest entry
- junkie by the atlantic.
1000 points, ended August 8, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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"so you left
no anchor to rest
your drifting boat
and rowed to a land
of frozen photos
nailed deep into silent
walls "
this slapped me. you're amazing. i want to cry now.
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I almost feel like this is the best thing I have ever read.
Maybe it is.
I'm just glad Jeanette [puking faerie dust] sent me here.
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wow, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Not often that happens... this is so original, I am ashamed to use that cliched adjective to even leave a comment. This goes beyond powerful verse... and fades to such a haunting softness.
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A lot of guts went into this write and no other words that I say will ever amount to a hill of beans...
Outstandingly emotional and I do so understand the crying before as well as after.
☼Becky☼
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This is incredible in its absolute entirety; I have no more words, just these :
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You really are just too too damn good to me...
I wuv you.
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blimey. this one really knocks the breath from you..
brr.
its fantastic.. but.. horrible.
gosh. sorry, you really blew me away with this..
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Yes this could be edited here and there for
extra words, etc but heh, I kind of just read
it and left it at that. You are a femur,
snapped in several pieces. A few gummy worms
stuck in your hair. I understand crying.
I do understand crying. I just do understand.
Last stanza is golden. Are you a phoenix
rising from the ashes? I think you are.
;
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Speechlessly sad, and touched by this.
Brought back some painful memories, so I don't know whether to thank you or smack you.
Kiddin, you know I love you.
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This poemis amazing but you, my dear, are amazingest
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This is really interesting.
In the third stanza, you have:
"their notes stratching"
I'm not sure if 'stratching' was intentional, perhaps you meant 'scratching'?
Wonderful write,
Best of luck.
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And you can cry within it too You had me with the first stanza and then it only turned to sobs. For I know the hurt and the painful decisions of losing a child, any child and your body heals but I don't think it ever recovers, it is an empty room that was so full of promise just as some relationships are too. This is an amazing piece of work. Love, Chez
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I don't even know what to say, where to begin -
you've poured out your very soul.
And I think you are truly a beautiful woman.
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i love how your author's notes speak directly to me..and baby, the tears are here..along with the chills, shivers..
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I almost hate you for forcing this one out of me. But dammit...you're too cute for me to do anything but love the shit outta ya. lol
But I guess it was time for this one to come out...
Thank you...
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