He said he loved me and gave me his heart.
This selfishness of mine simple tore it apart.
He broke down in tears, wept, asking "why"?
Teardrops like rain, poured from his sky.
His soul was shattered, his dreams were lost.
His heartbreak was what my wilfulness caused.
He wanted to stop thinking of me,
but his broken heart said to let it be.
He turned to smoking, to get rid of his thoughts,
no matter how i pleaded, he just wouldn't stop.
He said it helped him, i said no way,
he was addicted, much to my dismay.
How can i help him? How will it end?
Even though i don't love him, he's still my friend.
Would another girl suffice to heal his pain?
I wonder if he'll still love me the same.
Author notes
Eternal Pain
Option 5) A gone wrong love; were things "perfect" and then things changed? They either stopped loving you or you stopped loving them?
Option 2) Bad love
**Heartbroken-Headcase**
Ladybug lands on lee
A contest entry
- What no Golds? by catalyst..
400 points, ended October 26, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovvvvve by fake-or-real-smile.
550 points, ended November 3, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Become a Favourite! by BabyBun.
400 points, ended November 3, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOTS OF OPTIONS! by Shenanigans.
700 points, ended November 23, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The One that Got Away by in silver script.
850 points, ended November 19, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comments~ x)
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Thanks
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Excellent.
It's perfect. I love every line. What I really like about this poem is that is caught my attention. I read it to see what would happen next. I would if this is fiction or not, but it is still excellent. Brilliant and write more.
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That was wonderful! And sad at the same time!
Thanks For Entering! -
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Great job with this. I love the rhyming. Thanks for entering!
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Aw, I like this so much. Such a sad story that happens so often. I like that this poem is simple--says only what needs to be said... excellent work, and the rhyme didn't seem forced. Great work and good luck in the contest! --Shannon
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Great poem
I really like the real life scenario you brought "to the table"
It's sad to see that when you're trying to help someone and they don't let you help them -
thanks for your comment
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Really really emotional. xO
"Even though I don't love him, he's still my friend."
I love that line. Even if you break up with someone, you shouldn't just drop him/her out of your life since the person had came into your heart and touched it. x] -
thanks
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Thanks for the entry - good luck!
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thanks
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thanks
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Hmm this is interesting.....it's the opposite of what most girls/women would do, it's usually the girl with the broken heart.
I love the line:
"Teardrops like rain, poured from his sky."
Thanks for entering, good luck and well done on such a good write.
Rebecca
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Hahas, thank you
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amazing...
i love all you poems i cant stop reading them -
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emotional. great rhyming too.
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Thank you
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WOW!
Awesome. Good. THis could be a SOng. LOved it. I loved every line. I felt your emotions, and that's the key to writing a poem.
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the emotion in this certainly amazes me! I can feel what you feel. confused? hurt? hmmm...you again amaze me to no end. great job sis!
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Thanks for your comment
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At times
At times as I read the words of young poets I realize how much the world has changed. The questions you ask yourself are filled with wisdom. But to take on sych stress now is not a very healthy idea. Write on young poet. There is some magic in your pen.
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Thanks!!
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This is a very good poem! great job!
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Ooh this is good well done you, i especially loved the ending as you're right, it's so much harder to go back to being friends after attraction has played a part ... well done and thanks for sharing this with us
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Thanks again for your comment. Glad you enjoyed it
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Another Good Poem!
Hey this was no different… I loved it!… ur very good in telling stories in a rhyme and letting out ur emotions ... I too like to tell stories in rhymes and this poem is a very good poem… the flow was good and so the rhyming and the story… yeah I think another girl can definitely eradicate his pain may be its you too… maybe he’ll still love you the same…
Great write!
I enjoyed reading!
Thanks for sharing
Very well written
Shuberth (I’m a Rhyming Poet)
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Thanks for your comment
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Beauty Painted
You captured his pain and your pain throught this poem.
There is different types of love: romatic love friendship love,stranger love,famliy love sexual love, lust..
I understand this poem and relate
"How can i help him? How will it end?
Even though i don't love him, he's still my friend.
Would another girl suffice to heal his pain?
I wonder if he'll still love me the same. "
the ending is beautifully scipted...An excellant piece
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