We were candied harlequin dolls gone ugly && stale.
;;
Scribbling shallow apologies on dirty cigarette packages
and scrubbing out the stains of heartbreak with alcohol
tears,This was a fairy tale scrunched up underneath plastic
skin for far to long.The bass pounded through my spine and
shook all of those emotions i had buried in my rib cage.Baby,
the warmth from your smile just doesn't feel r e a l anymore.
You whispered [shattered] promises into my ear and honey,
those cliche love lines made me shed my clothes like a
forgotten memory of my own purity,powder white and sensitive.
I thought about you on every sleepless night,how You made me
nothing but a whore on lovers terms,a neurotic street light
angel who couldent take the truth.
Mirrors were broken and I was waiting for one of those moments
where vanity snaps back and all of the confessions would dribble
to the ground like vomit.We rotted the word love and erased the
lines between fairy tale and obsession.Sunken cheekbones crashed
into hollow chest cavities as the twilight city broke into shades
of pity and the stars fell into puddles of disappointment.
[justholdyourbreathanddontlookback]
Author notes
well,its now three in the morning,and i hope you like
it cause i really poured mah heart out.
"Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises"
opt.1
----------------------------------------------
and for the cliche contest,this is loveee 
A contest entry
- toxic waste rainbows and self-destructing love letters. by deadpixie020.
900 points, ended August 16, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Words Were Bullets And I Was Target Practice by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended August 11, 2008, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Common Cliche by CarissaHailea.
425 points, ended August 2, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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beautiful, great style and wonderful flow!!
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gorgeous, compelling. love your style.
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wow, love, this is really good. You have my oncore
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man you're getting better.
i should start up another contest soon. =]
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daaamn. this was a visual piece of writing. it reminds me of the old dp, but not in a bad way.
the only constructive criticism i can give is to maybe separate new thoughts on new lines so it doesn't all run together [like in the third line, or a few places in the third stanza]. i think you were doing that to keep all the lines generally the same length, though. but of course i could be wrong
but yeah.
"Sunken cheekbones crashed
into hollow chest cavities as the twilight city broke into shades
of pity and the stars fell into puddles of disappointment."
--pretty, pretty, pretty.
i really like this. i keep reading it over again because the pictures are that vivid. good luck in the contest.
-
I must comment once more on this write. It's just so amazingly stunning! =] The imagery was just wonderful, this poem stayed in the top finalists of my contest for quite some time.
Well now my contest has ended and congrats, I've given you bronze!
x-Pretty-Odd-x <3 -
I AM AMAZIN
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You poor darling. Boys are horrible creatures -_-
Once again, you make up for all those shocking dp writers out there. Very nice.
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Wow.
Very powerfully written piece.
This, is what I was looking for.
Welcome to the finalists [=
Good luck -
You had me from the title. I love your metaphors; everything's fake but it's all real, if that makes any sense. Beautifully done.
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very good!
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'We rotted the word love and erased the
lines between fairy tale and obsession.'
Those two lines, are simply, in the only word that seems apt to describe them, amazing.
Bookmarked
♥
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wow, simply amazing. It's a very perfect write, quite well written as well. Very dirty and beautiful at the same time. =] Thank you for the entry.
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Explosive
Quite dirty. Very pretty. Beautiful actually. You manipulated the words into a pandemonium of pain and splendor that not many can achieve. Emotional and vivid, to the extreme. Loved this all night long. Superb write. Can't wait to read more. Hugs and drugs.
~S.
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this is the best thing i've read by you. complete perfection. i loved it.
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