My skin feels
heavy
Shudders run through me
and I can’t see straight
A smile lies across my lips
and my neck arches back
from the ease
with which happiness comes.
My eyes begin to slip closed
The world spins either way
because you, my love, twist me
and turn me
and caress my skin to numb…
but alive…
You electrify my body
and dance throughout my mind
and I’m swept into the tide
of romance
of bliss
of you and you and you
Down to my fingers
Down to my toes
I’m in love
Nothing makes sense
Nothing but you
My weight swoons with submission
and god, I just want more…
And as you’re breathing across my skin
embracing me warmly
loving me to a point
of no return…
I pour another drink;
I just want more of you.
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites [Love Poems] Enter now! by perfectsunset.
475 points, ended August 17, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wow becca, amazing... braad??
sends shivers down my spine.. congrats on the great write love
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Wow, that was erotic. Got my breath going....
I loved it how you go "of romance, of bliss, of you and you and you". Brilliant. Don't change a thing. :-) -
Wow this was so passionately penned with beautiful imagery & depth.
Wonderful write!!
Thanks for entering & best of luck -
Intoxicating...erotic...powerful...tingling...beautiful...wow.
That was a good read and write.
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Hmmm nice! A common topic but nothing cliche in this piece! I liked it (: just a suggestion, maybe change the title? Its kinda boring and not very captivating... but other than that good job!
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excellent
Nothing makes sense
Nothing but you
My weight swoons with submission
and god, I just want more…
And as you’re breathing across my skin
embracing me warmly
loving me to a point
of no return…
Wise words full of wisdom>loved the way you made all this flow.Thanks for sharing.I am on the look out for family members for my AP family.Would you like to joing.Please go through my portfolio to get to know me more.
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Simply electrifying, I must agree with rivel in that i totally understand this be it good or bad.
You have totally captured what alcohol can do to a person.
Great write
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i love the idea of heavy pleasure laden skin. oh and i love lines 9-10 but i think 'either' sounds a bit awkward. maybe 'another' or 'both/all ways'
in this piece i just kept feeling swept up in the loving desire it expresses, even in the end. i wonder if is a good thing or a bad thing that i very much understand this. lol
thanks so much for sharing!
*loves*
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Beautiful.
Throughout the whole poem I was convinced you were talking about a person, until of course the final 2 lines. What a clever twist! I love poems with a twist ^.^ The imagery you create in this piece is amazing and the emotion you've put into this is clear. I love the lines :
The world spins either way
because you, my love, twist me
and turn me
simply beautiful.
Well done, a lovely poem. I truly enjoyed reading this.
LaurenLightning--x
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