Linen stirred
toward the indiscretion--
of blue,
nudged by bees
and nagging memory;
Sleeves billowing--
with gasps of moments,
breeze slightly shifting--
offering crisp perspective.
My eyes trace the line
from tree’s still shadow--
across a week of passion,
finding your worn jeans--
filled with the scent of you;
I reach, trembling
trying to capture your essence--
from faded pockets and unzippered heat;
To feel your length once more--
washed upon my own.
The linen shimmers now,
wrapping arms tightly--
around my need,
emotions surge in aching sighs,
wind, tossing them wildly about;
As the line grows taut--
carrying pieces of you,
while still holding--
the sum weight of us;
Left to sadly soar,
forever--
behind us...
Author notes
"i am simple
and fall
like laundry
old and burdened
under
weeks of wrinkled
affairs.
Quote by: adsaige
In a list
A contest entry
- laundry day by adsaige.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is such a tender piece with a delicate sense of movement through each stanza, and a melancholy mood... Beautifully done!
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Oh, I forgot this..
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Nice touch. As adsaige said, bittersweet!
Although, the title..sounded like Johnny Cash and made me hesitate to click on it. But, after reading the poem, it did turn that around. I *personally* think the title needs changed. But, this is your poem, you feel it more than I do. -
That opening stanza is just great!
Sets the tone right away for the following of fantastic imagery...
S4 and S5 also has greatness!!
♥Becky♥
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I enjoyed this particular piece of poetry. Does seem a bit bittersweet like I am now, but that is life. There are a few stanzas in here that can see a tiny-bit of editing: "the linen shimmers now," could be changed to "the linens shimmer now," it makes the flow sound better I think. Otherwise, a very well written piece.
Thank you for your entry. Good Luck! -
Nicely done with deft touches of yourself in this. I like
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