Child’s cries haunt the air
One more victim left unheard
No one stepped in to be her voice
Couldn’t someone care enough
Rescue her from all the strife
Evident bruises all could see
Tell a story of an unsafe home
Evil parent lashing out
A precious child forgotten about
Never knew a loving touch
Gentle spirit flies away
Even she knew she couldn’t stay
Loudly now we will cry, to be the voice she never had
Author notes
Acrostic: Concrete Angel
My first attempt at an acrostic poem.
A contest entry
- Stop Child Abuse by Riftkin.
800 points, ended August 3, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For those I forgot by crazymomma.
500 points, ended September 7, 2008, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Acrostics New & Pre- Writes by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended October 22, 2008, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Great. I understand exactly how you feel, the confusion of not understanding how people could just turn away.....I went through the same. THank you for entering in my contest
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A very good write on a very bad subject. I'm one for hanging child abusers.
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Thanks for your continued support. It means a lot to me. I agree with you about child abusers. Blessings, Patty
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i love it it may be thus far the best piece of Acrostic poetry I have read i have a low tolerance for boring poetry this gave me hope to cope and keep reading thanks for sparing me
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Tell a story of an unsafe home
Evil parent lashing out
A precious child forgotten about
Never knew a loving touch
There is so much abuse in the world today, I feel for those children, and others who suffer from it. This is an excellent write! Keep up the good work -
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Thanks much, and yes, this happens so much that it feels overwhelming. Blessings, Patty
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very good job on this acrostic poem. You hit the nail right on the head. I am very impressed with your work. No wonder you got Gold and honorable wins in this. Great job.
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Thanks so much for such a kind comment. It is greatly appreciated! Blessings, Patty
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Beautiful poem, I loved the end line it was really powerful and I'm sure many children wish they had. I've had so many friends be the victim of child abuse and I know they wish someone was there for them. Thank you for entering.
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Thanks much! Patty
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Excellent
Yes this is so very sad and very well said. I was also terribly abused as a child and I'm still in Trauma Therapy doing EMDR work. I'm so glad that you are speaking the truth how a child that is abused does feel. A voice and a cry never heard!!! Congradulations on the gold and HM and thank you for commenting on my poem about my new purpose being prepared from the loss of my precious son.
Wishing You Many Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
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This is very good. You definitely deserved the honorable mention. Good job. This is sad, but it is so true as well.
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Wow I love this poem. It flowed so well i didn't even realize that it was an acrostic til I read your notes and looked back. Very well written, good flow. Keep on writting!
Shannyn
xoxo
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AMAZING!!
wow i'm at a loss for words at this
peice.
So powerful.It gave me cold chills when i read it.
I can honestly say this in my opinion was masterful.
Great job!!
-Mandi
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This all flowed together so well I didn't even notice it was an acrostic until I got to the author's notes. WOW! Very well done. The emotion was so powerful. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Immensely Moving!
Immensely Moving! This is an amazing write, so from the heart and soul and so deep, empathic and altruistic. I can identify with the words in this poem as a victim of child abuse and it hurts bad to be abused at any age but as a child with less defense it is seriously arduous.
Your poetic graphics hit with huge impact yet they are conveyed so gently too, which is a unique essence to a very fine piece of poetic perfection and artistry you have so well sculpted here.
Bravo, well said, excellent, love it!
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
Ps: Thanks millions, for your fab and kind review you are very inspiring and encouraging.
Glad you liked it. It is a great honour to enter your wonderful contest thanks for the honour and the privalege.
Poetic Hugs and Thanks Millions,
Kaz.
Kazytc XX
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Thank you for entering this very real
contest for abused children. I loved
your poem.
Riftkin
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This is a hauntingly beautiful write!***Pam***
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Sad. I really feel this poem so deeply. There is a great great deal of compassion being shown in thios poem and the words are extremely haunting. I can, unfortunately, picture this abuse and it is not pretty. I have read some sad things in my time, but this is all too real. The title is just right.
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Hello. Well I have to say that is a good first attempt at an acrostic. Once again you speak for the unheard, for we know they speak but not with their mouth. I wish you well on the path you have chosen, and in this contest. My regards.
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Thanks so much Ace. Your comments mean a lot to me and I truly appreciate your feedback. Blessings, Patty
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Wow
You touch something here that is all too common...plus, it's a call to action as well. The line "even she knew she couldn't stay" killed me. It also makes me wonder about the wounded souls that inflict such pain...who hurt them, and when will the cycle stop?
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Powerful
A heartbreaking poem yet a masterful written acrotic. Your poem sends a very strong message. We...everyone...needs to be involved to protect our children from abuse. We all must step up and speak out for children of abuse. The atrocity must end.
A wonderful piece that speaks volumes.
David
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Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment! Blessings,Patty
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If this your first
attempt, I must say you're going to be unbelievable as you continue to develop! This is a very painful and sad piece, but it's written extremely well! much luck to you in the contest.
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Aw wow, this is a brilliant acrostic I must say! And the poem was really touching. It's horrible how people turn a blind eye to such abuse too! Wonderful write and good luck!
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Thanks so much for such a kind and thoughtful comment. Patty
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Very well done, a great poem to tell us we need to wake up and look around us. Not turn our head to abuse but meet it head on.
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Powerful poem
Powerful piece of writing. This is a great poem which covers a very difficult topic. I thought you dealt with it sensitively whilst maintaining a strong feeling throughout. Well written. Love and light Neet x
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Deeply sad but so strongly written. I love your acrostic..it flows effortlessly. Best of luck hun. Great job on this!
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Thanks so much! I was a little worried about the flow since this is my first shot at acrostic. I appreciate your feedback, and if you have any suggestions for improvement I welcome that too. Blessings, Patty
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