Only your hair moves
upon that tilted landscape,
which mixes with red,
yellow, pink, and orange hues
of blasted, crystalline sea.
Author notes
crack.....
A contest entry
- Summer Poem by Mortal.
900 points, ended October 9, 2008, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i love the word choice
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I love the mystery and simplicity of this, and the use of the word 'blasted' to describe the sea. Good luck
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There are some beautiful word choices here and the phrasing rings nicely. The only line I can say I don't like is line 3, which somehow seems to disrupt the flow somewhat. I think it might be the "which". For some reason it seems too literal; it breaks the mood.
Other than that, it's great, so best of luck in the contest. -
The shortness of it make sit very affecting. I've always admired how some poets rather than describe and describe can with a few lines express so much. this poem is one of those.
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very nice
very unquie
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