Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Thulcandra

Missing image
waking in what seemed a dream
far from where man was cursed
although unsure, i do believe
i was across the universe

no point of reference that i saw
the stars they held no clue
unearthly were my surroundings
loss for words, but what a view

ahead a soft, distant light
definite life of some kind
would they speak from their mouths
or would they read my mind?

i happened upon a stranger
he looked to be enlightened
with a gesture i felt at ease
i saw no reason to be frightened

i was lead to a place of knowledge
that displayed the origins of man
not just on earth, but many globes
where God had set forth his plan

these beings varied in design
each unique in their own way
each worshipped their Creator
even though many have gone astray

some live this day in paradise
some races suffered the fall
one thing was clear above all else
God's love rained on them all

the stranger pointed to me
then a world cast in darkness
deep sorrow shown upon his face
i could tell he was in distress

without words he explained to me
earth's protector was now corrupt
that if we don't change our ways
our ending would be abrupt

i awoke with such a jolt
so many thoughts, i cannot say
my heart grieved for our lost world
so i got down on my knees to pray
  

Author notes

images found on google, morphed by me

title and some details inspired by "out of the silent planet," by cs lewis

The eldila, who work for Oyarsa as messengers and maintainers of the planet, evidently are meant to be angels. Oyarsa is a more powerful angel, perhaps an archangel, and Oyarsa's superior, Maleldil the Young, represents Jesus. The 'Old one', the creator of Mars, is God the Father. Part of the background in Out of the Silent Planet is that Earth's Oyarsa (who is obviously Satan or Lucifer) became "bent" (corrupt), destroyed most of the life on Mars, and was forcibly imprisoned inside the Moon's orbit - having induced (as comes up later in the series) the creatures living under the Lunar surface to adopt evil ways and deliberately destroy all the life which once existed on their surface. Because the eldila, who fill space (or "the heavens," which are depicted as warm and bright due to the Sun) know nothing about what goes on inside those boundaries, Earth is called Thulcandra, "the silent planet."

~ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out_of_the_Silent_Planet

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • woah

    i love the rhyme love the story, love it!

    thanx for entering ♥tawns♥


  • iamlost gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing experience to read, I love that first stanza, it starts the poem beautifully and stays in your mind as you read it. A very thoughtful poem,
    Well penned.

    ~lost


  • Sprite silver member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very thoughtfully written poem. I like that it was inspired by Lewis. I also like the dreamy aspect of the poem, since I have often had day dreams about the universe and who might be out there.

    The religious references are appropriate in this context, I feel. Personally, I cannot imagine a universe without a benevolent and creative being in it.

    Your meter, rhyme and flow are fine. I would have liked to see more detailed descriptions of what you saw out there though. As is, it left me wanting more and that cannot be all bad! I do like your entry quite a lot even without those desired descriptions.


    • Xianaria gold member
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      perhaps if i had more than 40 lines

      thank you for your comments, they are greatly appreciated. i did have so much i wanted to explore, but also had a central message...i opted for the message over details in the limited space.

      tim