Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Rondo

 

  

 

 

 

When tidal waves of Time mock Fame,

have waved goodbye to humankind,
what which remains may, deep in rime,

deep-frozen stay until Change find
strange species with an unknown name,

whose mores no human finds sublime,
set out, new universes tame.

Alternative galactic clime

through nova warming – fun to blame -
could broil life first, then through enzyme

bacterial pride's self-acclaim

convert to carbon, methane, slime,

a vision choice, or hell-fire flame
devour the oddest pantomime
star systems witnessed, ‘sense’ proclaim.

A strange physique, another mind,

may race, chase universal prime,

act out perceived need, trace seed chain, 

from ocean brine could start the grind

of evolution once again.

Survival’s rules and Nature’s game,

to change stay subject, rise or wane  

as specificities within

a given eco-system kin

divide from kith through chance dance train

which tunnels out where Time once in

might delve and dig in search as sane

for A to B too toxic must remain.

There seems no reason to explain

that rigid rules in one place gain

no standing elsewhere - truth's refrain

sounds normal here, there cries 'refrain !'

Life's laws, whatever form or frame,

appear designed to change sustain : 

tenacity's successful climb
prepares ambitions which may bind

transient sentience to time -

tied to tide system whence it came.

"Above", "Below" are judgements vain,
when all's one, one all must contain.

The wheel turns, yet things much the same

remain as ever, as the blind
and seething masses, biding time,

exploited still, will try to find
answers until fresh tidal time-frame

mocks race, trace, shocks, restocks again...

Oscillating waves of Time,

wave goodbye, scarce seek behind 
veil past - ancestors maritime -

and future for wings redesigned
by evolution's coded aim,
from start to coda, which no dime
could care for causal counterclaim.

From chaos patterns recombine,

an intricate design begin,

here where, there, others ended in

ice, fire, fire, ice, hope aim, scope maim,

some may celestial choir proclaim

as evidence of super brain.

Equality may some acclaim 

as proof superior, maintain

win leads to loss, as loss to win

its opposite must undermine

to complement wheel waiting game

that sooner, later, Chronos will unwind.  

Alternative galactic clime

through dwarf–star cooling frieze quitclaim
could freeze life first, then life-clock chime

again, again, from wild to tame,

from tame to wild as cyclic mime

vibrates, expands, contracts, the same

remaining never, - pantomime

played out repeating rondo spin

exploring waft weave out and in...

Author notes

Spinning Core Black Hole http://jilawww.colorado.edu/~ajsh/insidebh/front_640x360.gif

robi3_0377_robi3_0000 XXX_JNZ

Background Anu
http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2576020825/

pic Supernova http://andezigi.deviantart.com/art/Supernova-105012997

Planets pic Anu
http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2622325697/

Brahma Designs the Universe pic  Anu http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2356738068/

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • AraLupus
    November 24
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This poem is really good.

    You used an excellent blend of words, the images and the background. How long did it take you to blend them all together? I'm guessing it was something you planned =D


    My fav bit was your first stanza:

    'When tidal waves of Time mock Fame,
    have waved goodbye to humankind,
    what which remains may, deep in rime,
    deep-frozen stay until Change find
    strange species with an unknown name,
    whose mores no human finds sublime,
    set out, new universes tame.'

    I know it is the very first bit, but it really sets up the theme and setting for the poem.

    An excellent write in my opinion =D

    Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Carly Pop gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for your entry! I apologize it took so long to comment and judge. bad bout with my Parkinsons past weeks. Thanks again for your poem.


  • K-a-r-s
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good i love the backround and the pictures are very nice. This poem must have taken some time. Great Work. Good job. and Good Luck on the contest.

  • You must have put some serious time and effort into this piece, not just the words but the images, the background, correlating, matching... its fantastic. You use wonderful imagery and metaphor. I have no suggestions for this piece. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Little Lesley
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing! Amazing!
    Wish you the best of luck!
    ♥~Little Lesley~♥


  • kylierenea
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Amazing write! Everything goes so well together: the words, the images, the background. I can tell you spent some time on this poem. I wouldn't change a thing Amazing poem, good luck on your other contests as well.


  • Mr.
    August 14
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing poem. I love science, and as a musician, I really appreciated the form. Thanks for entering.

  • wow vey cool you are a true philosopher and scientist feel like i'm dancing through the universe. Love the ryme so beautiful Goodf job and congrats on gold times 2 Keep writting


  • RuthKephart
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    AH, when reading this poem from start to finish I thought it a good poem but then when I took futher look at it and began to read it line by line in reverse from end to start I realized what real genius it took to set this whole thing up. I'm not sure if you planned it that way or not but it actually reads better from end to start....perhaps a chilly revelation of where we will be a thousand, or perhaps a hundred years from now.
    Ruth

    P.S. I agree with the comment about the wallpaper. It is so busy and makes this piece so hard to read...what an injustice you're doing to this piece by not toning that down a bit. Let the poem speak for itself!

    • Backgrounds on Mirrored Rondo

      Many thanks for your comment which repays the attention as you appear the first to have noticed that the title was not chosen fortuitously.

      In respect of the background the AP allows for that to be removed as I'm sure you know

      I have tentatively both slightly revised the text fro the fourth time 1991 2006, 2008 and today, and added two verses (which can be mirrored) 'Exaggeration’s docked decay.'

      Until I am sure of the revisions and keeping open the possibility of adding to what is already a substantial exercise kindly see below the 'current state of play' of the mirrored version as it stands with the addition of the extra verse.

      One would of course add "for the record" that the poem can be started at any verse while retaining coherency, or individual verses read any order both in the original and in the mirrored versions

      some explicative links

      Nero watched the arena gladiator fights through a huge emerald that acted as a lens and modified the colour of blood from red to black

      For Black Hole site see http://jilawww.colorado.edu/~ajsh/insidebh/index.html
      For Benoit Mandelbröt see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beno%C3%AEt_Mandelbrot
      For polymath Nicolas de Cues, de Beryllo 1458, etc. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolas_of_Cusa



      Enjoy ! Jonathan

      ___________

      Exploring waft weave out and in
      played out repeating rondo spin
      evolving ever, - pantomime
      vibrates, expands, contracts, same frame
      from tame to wild as cyclic mime,
      again, again, from wild to tame,
      from freeze life first, then life-clock chime
      through dwarf star cooling frieze quitclaim
      that sooner, later, Chronos will unwind.

      To complement wheel waiting game
      its opposite must undermine
      win leads to loss, as loss to win
      as proofs superior, maintain
      equality some may acclaim
      as evidence of super brain.

      Some might celestial choir proclaim,
      ice, fire, fire, ice, hope aim, scope maim,
      here where, there, others ended in
      an intricate design begin
      from chaos patterns, recombine,
      could care for causal counterclaim
      from start to coda, which no dime

      By evolution's coded aim,
      and future for wings redesigned
      veil past - ancestors maritime -
      wave goodbye, scarce seek behind
      oscillating tides of Time,
      mock race, trace, shocks, take stock again
      answers well till swells’ time-frame
      exploited still, will try to find,
      while seething masses, biding time,
      remain as ever, led by blind.

      Spun wheel turns, yet things much the same
      when all's one, one all must contain.
      "Above", "Below" are judgements vain,
      tied to tide system whence life came.
      Transient sentience to time
      prepares ambitions which may bind
      tenacity's successful climb,
      appears designed to change sustain.
      Life's law, whatever form or frame,
      sounds normal here, there cries 'refrain !'
      no standing elsewhere - truth's refrain
      that rigid rules in one place gain
      in gravity where light bends aim.

      There seems no reason to explain
      through A, B, to C toxic stain remain.
      Why dig, delve, search solutions sane
      which tunnel out where Time peaks in
      divide from kith through chance dance train
      a given eco-system kin
      as specificities within
      to change stay subject, rise or wane.

      Survival’s rules and Nature’s game,
      of evolution once again.
      from ocean brine could start the grind
      act out needs perceived, seed chain.
      May race chase universal prime,
      a strange physique, another mind.

      Exaggeration’s docked decay.
      clocks to cue pride ride to restrain
      control of algorythmic sway
      on building blocks, exerts force plain
      through surreptitious interplay,
      depends on R.N.A. whose reign
      spun double helix D.N.A.
      Doom’s judgement stakes claim on other plane,
      night everlasting drags the day,
      makes light till sun shines down the drain
      ephemerality’s tease hay.

      Black hole without wormhole might blight
      tight niche as Nietsche foretold before
      blood turned to black – artistic paw
      Nero’s dark emerald delight
      where Mandelbröt would fractals draw.
      while Newton, Leibniz well might write.
      Perspectives shifting Einstein saw
      from Cues ‘de Beryllo’ some cite.

      Star systems witnessed, ‘sense’ proclaim.
      devour the oddest pantomime
      a vision choice, or hell-fire flame
      convert to carbon, methane, slime,
      bacterial pride's viral self-acclaim
      could broil life first, spin through enzyme
      till nova warming – fun to blame.

      Alternative galactic clime
      set out, new universes tame,
      whose mores no human finds sublime,
      strange species with an unknown name,
      deep-frozen stay until fates find
      that which remains may, deep in rime,
      have waved goodbye to humankind,
      when tidal waves of Time mock Fame.


  • Very Badass
    April 4
    Edit | Reply
    it is a neat poem
    i like your use of words
    a lot of which are not part of my vocabulary


  • awannabepoet
    April 3

    Edit | Reply

    Devious indeed

    Well what can I say lest it be that my eyes need a rest for this is quite the lengthy piece of eclectic poetic abstraction indeed.

    "The wheel turns, yet things much the same
    remain as ever, as the blind
    and seething masses, biding time,
    exploited still, will try to find
    answers until fresh tidal time-frame
    mocks race, trace, shocks, restocks again"

    How I would so love to be alive at the end of time, when all that was and has been etched in stone is melted as that recycled mail order gold.

    I like it, I like it so!

  • Exceptional!!

    Great Flow, weave, and background... All work together to make this memorable read.


  • Mister Kite
    April 2
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    Blinding poem, really enjoyed it.


  • Meroza
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    First off, thanks for entering this one. Been missing it Secondly, welcome back to the contest.

    Thank you for entering and best of luck


  • iamlost gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A poem that seems as expansive as the universe (in a good way) . The wallpaper is a bit overpowering, but also very beautiful, so I guess it fits with the poem. The flow and rhythm are superb.
    Well penned.

    ~lost


  • Sprite silver member
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I had to fight to not notice the wallpaper. I didn't want to do anything but judge the writing, of course, so I could be fair to those who cannot personalize.

    BUT, the background is as loopy as the writing (in a good way.) I really do like this poem very much. The twists and turns and wordiness are perfect here. The universe is a HUGE place and you have done it some justice here.

    Great flow of ideas. I especially like how you wove the scientific with more simple concepts. The second and third stanzas are my favorite for that.

    I also like the way you left the ending open. After all, there is no end to the universe or time.

    Good luck in the contest! ~ Joyce


  • Wolfdog silver member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Ab so lut ly incredible. I am amazed by this write. Definitely one of your finest and I have fallen in love with the background you chose. There are two authors of which this poem reminded me. One is Robert A Heinlien's "Stranger In a Strange Land" and the other one is Jane Robert's "Seth Speaks". These two books were instrumental in changing my way of thinking.
    Robert A Heinlien:
    http://www.torrentz.com/eba6a438f6f51b31d4905d92d46cc747d233de3f

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranger_in_a_Strange_Land

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Roberts

    http://www.sethcenter.com/


  • fantasysmurf
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Crazy galaxy in Order

    Wohoo. Loved this mind-flip. Excellent meter, rhyme and tone. I bought this a-hundered times over. Well done and well-chosen background

  • Sprite silver member
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering. I will comment later. ~

1 - 20 of 20