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Perfect Imperfections

People talk of world peace,
a perfect world,
no bad, pure good.

If I were born to such a place,
I'd have no say, just common grace.

But as I live, this world, this day,
I find the beauty in all it's hate,
through my eyes, the golden gates
hold no peace, just mindless fates.

Author notes

Imperfections mark our beauty, as the beauty is masked, more special and diverse in the good as well as the bad.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • PureCountry
    August 8, 2008

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    You Leave Me,

    with much to ponder. To be able to render beauty from its' opposite state of being is a powerful idea worthy of consideration. I will have to reflect on this one, I will return.

    Best of Luck

    Niaish

    Silent Hawk


    • suninmymouth
      August 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much!

      It's always an accomplishment to hear that.

  • piccola silver member
    August 8, 2008

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    But as I live, this world, this day,
    I find the beauty in all it's hate,
    through my eyes, the golden gates
    hold no peace, just mindless fates.

    hmmm interesting idea to find beauty in hate. Thank you for entering


  • JabberWokk
    July 29, 2008

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    While the poem is not "intense" I feel as though at some point- this idea was screaming in your mind. That it was a intense moment when you opened your eyes to this.

    Openings can be difficult- you have this amazing idea but it's like trying to read a book without the first chapter!


    • suninmymouth
      July 29, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you~

      I've always carried this idea around... I've just now gotten around to writing about it. You see, it's a simple thought. Short. A fragmented idea. It's not meant to have a first chapter, that is the whole story.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    July 25, 2008

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    A very good concept and idea, boldly conveyed through the last few lines. Definitely eye-opening and makes youstep back a second and re-think it. The beginning is a little bland, but the last stanza makes up for it. Another great one, good luck in the contest (again )
    Jeanette*~


    • suninmymouth
      July 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! You critique very nicely. I was never really good with starts... It's something I have to work on, and thank you for bringing it to my attention!


      • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
        July 25, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Me neither!
        That's why I can barely write a poem nowadays- I can't figure out a way to open it


  • She burns
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing As you believe that everything has it's own beauty, bad or good and how some people dream of peace for everyone/A perfect world...

1 - 11 of 11