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Her Daily Street Race (Senryu)











her engine revs
green light flashing,
pick up kids from school...













Author notes

Prompt: Haiku

A contest entry

Critical Critique Desired.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • DeGraw
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A great haiku!

    Isn't that the way of it, mom's dashing to school to get their kids every day...I loved your title!
    Good luck in the contest!
    Regards,
    DeGraw


  • notorious gold member
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A senryu, yet the prompt is a haiku.
    Close enough...

    I think a hyphen/dash should be used instead of a comma in that second line--looks more haiku-y.

    Plus, I dunno if an ellipsis is used in haiku/senryu. Damn, I better ask Meghan...who will probably ask myron.

    I do like the simplicity