three crooked crones caw
on telephone wire;
black feathers molting.
Author notes
Prompt: Haiku
In a list
A contest entry
- Teach me how to write a haiku by notorious.
2246 points, ended August 10, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Critique Desired.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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HOODWINKED!
Nice imagery and play on words. Good aliteration in L1. Overall a pleasent image!
You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits because WE CARE!
Dennis
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nice alliteration. and a nice thought, maybe all those bird use the telephone wires to talk to each other like we do!
great write
thanks for sharing.
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thanks!
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This is exactly seventeen syllables...was that intentional??
I actually really, REALLY like this...you have imagery & and an "Aha" moment with hags and crows being compared...
But it feels super detailed & a tad long for a haiku (although...I'm a total noob. God, I'll wait for Roo to help me out with this one!)
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Traditional Haiku is 5-7-5 though we also have the Senryu which is a version allowing for anything less than 17 on three lines. *Grins* I followed the traditional rules. Though if you want some Senryu, I can do those too.
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DON'T RATE THIS COMMENT PLEASE!!!
I don't think haiku should limit itself to a pattern of word syllables--I never asked for traditional haiku!! The only parts of traditional haiku I like is the "Aha" moment.
'Senryu' is a word I've been hearing a lot for emotional haiku...since haiku is supposed to be object observation. Blah. All these damn terms confuse the crap out of me & everybody tells me different things--I've heard the 5.7.5. thing from about 1, 000 people now...but I personally hate the idea of strictly adhering yourself to doing that. And I don't think that just because a poem (in general, not yours, don't worry) uses 5.7.5., it's not necessarily a haiku.
I'll have to ask myron.
If you rate this comment, it'll un-rate my other one
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*objective
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