Walking along the other day,
a thought came to me,
as I heard a man say..
If time and space,are relative things,
and held together, by quantum strings,
Then how would one traverse amongst the stars,
the nebulas, planets, and neverending quasars?
At first I thought,
who thinks of that?
But the answer that came,
was far more abstract.
By Bending space, and stretching the seams,
one can travel afar, to places unseen.
By way of a tunnel, torn deep through space.
You can hurtle your way through, to another time & place.
Amazing I thought, could they actually be real?
Great big holes, where time & space fail?
But how could you do it, without too much fuss?
The energy requirements must be a millionfold plus!
The trick you must see, is that all energy
can neither never exist, nor lose all properties.
so what this does mean, is that energy unseen,
is there for the taking by way of a machine.
This machine, as when told,
will make energy cold, to maximize effeciency.
And when this energy is found,
from neither air, sea nor ground,
you realise then, that its in everything around.
so with an energy source that is in all that exists,
and devices and machines that can multiply this,
an instability in time and space will unfold,
and soon enough you'll find,
you've made your first wormhole!
A contest entry
- The Poetic Universe by Sprite.
1600 points, ended August 10, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Awesome.. Just noticed this was an honourable winner. ;o)
Cheers. -
Rereading the poem today, I noted a few things that I would like you to look at/change prior to my final posting of the results. I think the following phrases should be
never ending (two words)
space, are (you are missing the space after the comma)
million fold (two words)
efficiency (spelling)
realize (spelling)
Thanks so very much. ~ Joyce -
I love the scientific aspect of this, poetic science isn't something you see every day! The title definitely intrigued me and the topic of this kept me interested.
Well penned.
~lost
-
I don't often hear people talking about the universe, but all the same, I like the beginning because it flows nicely and has a bit of whimsy about it. I actually followed what you said pretty easily. A plus for you!
I like how you put a lot of science in a poetic form. Not an easy task! For the most part, you rhyme well, but since you don't follow through with the rhyme except in a lose manner, I feel the poem loses something. There might be a rhyme scheme there, but I cannot see it myself.
I think your ideas flow beautifully throughout the poem and that you have done a credible job. Nice work. Good luck in the contest. ~ Joyce
-
Welcome to AllPoetry!
This is cool. Would never have thought of putting the mysteries of the universe to poetic rhyme. Awesome work and good luck in the contest.
Welcome to AP. If you have any questions or need help with anything, feel free to IM me.
Keep expressing through writing.
Storm
Site Greeter -
Thanks for entering. I will comment later, but for now. I do like this poem. ~ Joyce
-
This is interesting. I'm not sure I understand your solution
but I love how you began the poem. The first few stanzas were mesmerizing. Theoretical things about the universe interest me immensely and just because you wrote about that I'm gonna give you three clappers 
but also because this is pretty good.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
