I'm fading now behind your eyes
Crouching down, becoming invisible
A slow soft vibration surfaces my faces
Burning
and cooling beneath me
I hide from you as this soft
unwanted sensation
swallows me
Takes over, grabs me, engulfs me
A single tear drop skins an uneven line
down my face
and I will keep it my secret
My release
Breathe, hold in, let out my tears
I am invisible.
A contest entry
- I'll Cry If I Want To - If You Know Me - 15 hour quickie by CarolDesjarlais.
600 points, ended July 26, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Thank you for commenting on Forgiveness, it did have a lot of emotion, it had a lot of meaning for me. I don't know if I'm that good of a critic, but I also liked your poem "My Release" you described the feeling of being invisible very well. However I was confused by the third line "... surfaces my faces" did you mean that a vibration surfaces on your face? or that you have many faces and it surfaces on them?
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oh, so very evocative.... you do know such as me .....
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