Attracted by the apple,
its succulent juices
steaming my senses,
needing to taste
the fleshy meat of sin,
I am tempted.
Knowing it’s offered
by a unworthy snake,
one who lies,
cheats,
one will who break my heart,
I am still tempted.
Devious desires
to delight delicious deeds
forbidden to me,
I am lured closer
as I waver on hands and knees
temptation's torment
tearing me apart.
Illicit evil
pursuing the pure
can show many faces,
false promises of fantasy,
fulfillment of fruit
filled with deceit,
entices innocence,
its appetite craving
untainted angels.
Author notes
Please credit the artist in your Authors Notes: Wondering by manips-of-artist2
I have no idea where these thoughts came from...lolol
A contest entry
- Pretty Picture Prompt # 7 by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended July 26, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
The BG suits this very well! I like it, can I snag to?
-
-
Hi LadyD - help yourself!....lol
-
-
Hello Aboomer.
Congratulations on the Silver Trophy. This is a graphic write, and I agree with the seductive facet of this piece. The analysis of what is on offer and what it really is, adds weight to the repetition of being tempted. There is some nice alliteration in this piece as well. I have to say I think this is one of your better poems, up there with one of the first ones I read of yours, the one about you as a watcher over humanity.
You touch on some interesting things in this though; the repetition of “I am tempted” with the descriptions that follow, which I don’t know if it was a conscious decision or not; it shows that although people externalise the temptation, they are unwilling to appreciate that is what it really is, an externalisation and thus the problem is not on the outer but in themselves, and their own weakness and inability for whatever reasons means they don’t or won’t see it as a projection. Thus they absolve themselves, but you don’t do that, for although the “I am tempted” is something most would use, the descriptions that follow of cold analysis is not something that would be as forthcoming. After all what you are basically saying is that you know, and wanted to do it, thus you take responsibility for your actions.
The interesting thing about the snake; the snake didn’t lie, the Abrahamic God did, for He said that if eaten they would die, the snake never said that, and of course they didn’t die. Other interesting things; that snake according to many writings, and Gnostic Christianity is actually an esoteric symbol for the kundalini; the tree being the spine. Two snakes twirled represents the DNA and the medical profession, but I have also come across writings that state the snake was a symbol for Ea; one of the creators if not the creator of humans. I could go on but I won’t hahahah.
As I was saying, this is up there with your best. Nice to see some filler words as well, hahah.
My regards.
-
-
Thank you so much Ace!
lol - I can't remem. the poem you are talking about (me as a watcher?)..
The snake had no Biblical connection in this at all - 'Knowing it’s offered
by a unworthy snake,
one who lies,
cheats,
one will who break my heart,
I am still tempted.' I was referring to the 'temptation' being offered by an unworthy 'snake' (cad) who lied, cheated and would break hearts - but I (or someone) was still tempted, even knowing the person wasn't worth it. (I, too, have seen many other ideas on what the biblical snake actually referred to - most say it's just a symbol of our own weakness).
Yes, it is FUN to be able to use filler words!!...LOL...
again, thanks!
blessings
-
-
Ohhh love the metaphoric sensuality you got from the picture!! Ahh the desires and the temptations that can befall us!
Love the alliteration in here and the whole feel of the write.. awesome!
-
-
Thank you. I'm so pleased you liked this.
blessings
-
-
oooh I love the picture prompt. your poem is amazing. I love all of it so much. there is so much truth through out this poem.. evil will use trickery to get what it wants, so very truthful. sometimes it will go to great lengths to do so. temptation can be deadly..
good luck in the contest
kat
-
-
Thanks kat! Isn't that picture gorgeous?
So glad you liked my take on 'temptation's torment'....I don't even know where those thoughts came from!..LOLOL
blessings
-
-
Wowzer! This is fantastic, your alliteration is superb yet kept subtle. The poem is powerful in emotion with a nice hint of darkness. We have all been tempted by the 'wrong' sort I'm sure, but then that's what adds to the attraction
A beautifully penned piece hun, thanks for entering and good luck 
-
-
Thank you!
So pleased you liked this.
-
-
Excellent!!!
This is so wonderfully written. Just tells a magnificent story of sweet temptation. I really like this, it is one of your best!!! Thanks for sharing and best of luck!!!
Az
-
-
Thank you so much Az! I really appreciate your lovely comment.
One of best -
ty creations?...lol
Glad you really liked it.
blessings
-
-
Oh my word I have an idea where they came from
from your brilliant mind this is great maybe I should just not enter lol 
Goodluck in the contest my friend be well
-
-
lol - thank you SO MUCH Starz! I don't even know if this makes any sense! LOLOLOL
Glad you liked it though!
best wishes
-
-
I LOVE IT
licks your brains for inspiration lol -
-
lolol
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
