Another day has passed
And slowly turned to night
As the darkness fall
I fancy to see the sight
of
Your shadow on the wall
Your whisper on the air
Your sneeze out in the hall
Your step upon the stair
That scent I hold so close
That wafts upon the breeze
And when I close my eyes
Time just seems to freeze
But I'm only fooling myself
'Cause you're not really there
And though I know it deep down,
I still find it so hard to bear
Why did you leave me;
No, why did I let go?
Of the one heart I ever held
I wish ... But I don't know.
So...
I lean back in my chair,
And fold my arms up tight
Lusting to stroke your hair
And hold you through the night
And...
I hear your voice
In my ear
I feel your presence
Like you're near
A little weight
Upon my lap
So tempting to believe
But ..
It's just a trap
I'm only fooling myself
'Cause you're not really there
And though I know it deep down
I still find it so hard to bear
Why did I ever let you go
And put myself through this strife
Oh Bambi, my cat, I miss you so
I loved you with my life
Author notes
Option 1
This is still a little off kilter, although it won't be getting longer - but I do have some editing to do which may happen before or after the ending of the contest figured that the end of it might be a surprise to some people - most, i think, would assume i'm talking about a man, not a most beloved pet.
Thank you to Only-Fooling-Myself for running tihs contest and giving me the inspiration as I'm in the process of turning this into a song now
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me something origional by SouthernDownpour.
1183 points, ended August 12, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Love it I feel the same way about my loved cat.
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How amazing...I felt every word from deep within me. I have these thoughts about someone who no longer shares my life...it is so hard at time...I understand
Very beautiful. -
cool poem, at some points a little wordy but who's never had that in theirs before? can see why this is a finalist =]
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ohh this was awsome
lmao tho i have to tell you i thought it was about a girl cause of the sitting in my lap line. lol.
"But I'm only fooling myself
'Cause you're not really there
And though I know it deep down,
I still find it so hard to bear
Why did you leave me;
No, why did I let go?
Of the one heart I ever held
I wish ... But I don't know."
this part got me the most. i lost my first love, now i wonder if it woulda changed if i was willing to fight. but everything happens for a reason right?
I cant wait to see it completely edited you have until the 9th, but if it isnt finished by then send me a message so i can come back please
thank you for entering
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thank you so much for hte gold
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haha your welcome. you definitly deserved it
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Thank you, am glad that you liked it Will work between now and then to get it finished so that it's done by the end of the contest - fingers crossed =)
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This is good. I like the flow you were trying for but I think if you changed up some words in the 4th line of 2nd stanza it'd go better. "It's so hard for me to bear" I think flows better. great write.
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