one last stroke
for the cat's ears -
his garden grave
where blackbirds
sing from a tree
A contest entry
- Tanka Time by azure85.
600 points, ended August 7, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I'm so sorry to learn about the loss of your cat. The first two lines are so moving. I like the alliteration in L3. I loved the use of the sense of sound in L5. This is a beautiful tanka. Congratulations on the GOLD!
With love,
Charishma
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Thanks Char - it is a form that doesn't come naturally to me - too emotional. However,the stimulus of losing my little mate did bring a sentimental time, where I was able to write this and a couple of others.
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Congratulations on the gold.
marlene
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birdsong and black cat
L1 draws one right in.This one is of a very different genre from your other works...very moving and a well deserved gold! I'd miss him though...:what is it about birdsong/ black cat?
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Thanks bb - I miss him, because he was a character. I am, however, a pragmatist and he was a cat, not a human. I care more for people than animals.
Nevertheless, a kitten may be on the agenda
Alan
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Very moving tanka, with the final resting place a wonderful memorial for the beloved kitty. Thank you so much.
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Susie, thanks for the Gold for this tanka.
A fitting tribute for Tom, he was always in trouble, had his 9 lives and more. Thought we'd lost him last year when he went missing for 4 days - only to be discovered in a neighbours attic. He was run over (for the second time - the first time cost me £420 = $800 to repair a broken leg.) This time unrepairable.
Alan
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Beautiful, I love the progression of thought in this. It gives a true cat into poetry, a hunter as well as a pet. Wonderfully done, best of luck in the contest.
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Thanks i-a-l
He is beneath the tree that irritated him with birdsong
Alan
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Very moving gesture and memorial for your pet. I like the movement in your tanka from the intense grim task out and up to singing birds.
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Thanks marlene - it is a fitting tribute to him
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