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A Million Memories

I'm looking into...
the endless wrinkles of an old mans face,
who'd seen much death and corruption
in this world,
and the next.

Author notes

I just got home, and am too tired to put much more effort.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • JabberWokk
    July 29, 2008

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    I like this poem as it is, and I think it is simply beautiful. I have this whole scene played out in my mind. Just from the warmth of the old man adding colors and MAN I can't even explain it.


    • suninmymouth
      July 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, try to sometime! For me!

      I have this scene in my soon to be book, I'll have to read it to you.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    July 25, 2008

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    The ending was great and subtle yet impacting, and it ended it good without feeling cut off or just thrown on there. It would have helped me get into it more if it had more imagery- you could try using metaphors or maybe symbolism to create the picture for the reader, help them see more than just an old guy with wrinkles, ya know? But they're just suggestions, of course Great job, and good luck in the contest
    Jeanette*~


    • suninmymouth
      July 25, 2008
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      Haha, thanks! So, I need to work on painting a picture for my readers and giving a good beginning! I really appreciate it~


  • Her hand in yours
    July 25, 2008

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    True and kinda sad at the same time, this just says so much, for all the old persons out there, how they have seen everything and more in this life...

1 - 6 of 6