Ah, in mad gulps tasting refreshing night air,
As if I'd been drowning, seeing bright light and dead relatives...
This satellite was tossed out of orbit,
And the mocking cold distant stars
Blind me with their billion-year old gaze
Oh, in sweet consternation, finding savory freedom,
All the troubles of the world slough off
Like the dead skin of snakes or lizards
Or adult amphibians or tanning bed matrons,--
Shiny and greasy over the dryness:
Crust, one could say
But to wallow in the ignited stews,
Hollow unless discord ensues,--
No!-- these are the petty baubles that no longer attract me,
Trinkets without value,
Memories of wisps of memories of mist,
The memories I've kissed while shedding reddened tears
Upon the stony visage, no crack, a simple message:
Stand back, and let the iron rains fall...
Let all the detritus of a Cold War race finally lose immeasurable face
And lose their tenuous embrace upon cosmic eddies,
Let all our conceits and competition rain upon us
For we laugh most easily when in vague despair,
And in pure panic thoughts explode (magnesium flare):--
Within fear we become the tongues that taste the air
But on the other side of fright,
Between the morrow and twilight:
The flavour we savour, plucked birthright,
Is more delicious than in the night.
Author notes
Don't ask; I simply don't know 
. It was fun to write, though. Enjoy, and make of it what you will 
.
Thanks!
- Giovanni
Written January 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- I Want Your Best PreWrites. by coffeeangel316.
350 points, ended February 20, 2004, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Huh?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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ery beautiful
great poem! very nice use of words
-H.trueblues -
turbulant. I enjoyed your use of words unknown to me. The writting lets the reader understand them even if they dont know them personally. Your writing has a flare of shakespear to it i feel... That i like more than the rest. The message as i wright now is not as clear as when i read. It seems to me as a reflecting piece... A magnification of your souls bright understanding of the world in yourself. How does that sound?
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I love this the images you put into your readers head and the mystery good write my dear
OOO i'm drinking coffee right now!!
(Go COFFEE!)
keep it up
~*Eve*~ -
Well it was certainly full of imagery ~ some scary some beautiful. I too have to say it made me think way too much to try and figure out what you were talking about
. non the less it is well written.
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beautifully written. I love your imagery...you painted a beautiful picture with your words! You may not think you did well, but this is a very well written and gorgeous piece. Your intro locked me in...it was very beautiful and eased me into the piece. Many intros are abrupt, but you don't seem to have that problem. Great job
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this is so filled with imagery, and I thought you did a great job, dont forget the phrase.
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cool i'm a song writer also
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Clicked on this because it's also the name of a song my friend wrote. Nevertheless, it's a very good poem, with great imagery and a mystical theme. I applaud you.
Edited on Jan 09, 4:23 p.m. because ''. -
You really hurt my brain sometimes! lol I will come back and re-comment once I have fully regained use of my brain and stuff lol!
Too many long words for a tired dyslexic/dyspraxic
lol
Take Care
Hayley x x x -
Well, um, this is definitely original, lol. Very discordian. Great job. Jenn
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exquisite meanderings
What a roller coaster ride of a stream of consciousness poem! Awesome trip through the rabbit hole. I will be dissecting this piece many times I think....culling from it deeper renderings of the truths I could only glimpse in passing on this first read-through. Thanks so much for sharing this awesome look at the inner workings of your poetic mind.
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Wow... great write, you really caught my intrest with this poem! Keep up the great work!
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