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dirty laundry

 

 

 

 

 

 

i remember
as mother swallowed the ring
how i thought
it would be all right

then seeing
them drag father
through the snow
by his arm 

and leg

that was the first time
i saw red

i remember
smelling dirty clothes
hiding in the hamper
until it was quiet

but it was too quiet

i remember
the long ride to aunt ruth's
but the stains in the snow
wouldn't go away

years have long passed
my aunt did the best she could
i suppose

but on gray days like this
when i smell snow coming

i wish
i had never seen
that color

i'm still
  in that dark hamper

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

story of a holocaust survivor

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Exo
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "but on gray days like this
    when i smell snow coming"

    I believe this part of the poem makes you feel the red snow linger in your memories. I was truly impressed by your poem, how you started it with "remember" and ended it with "i'm still in that dark hamper".

    Tells me that these things will never go away.
    I applaud you and wish you the BEST luck in the contest. I personally hope this gets first place.


  • Tangled Angle
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is probably the best holocaust poem i've ever read.


  • onerios13
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    but on gray days like this
    when i smell snow coming

    This was beautiful. In all its rage, bewilderment and sorrow, with an ending that shows off by you are the best at what you do best. Making people see through your eyes and words.

    Dirty laundry never smelled so good.


  • adsaige
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Judged

    I see. Such a sad story. It does invoke emotions in the reader, horrific details, dark imagery. I think however, the '&'s did not work for this piece and messed with the flow.

    Thank you for entering.
    Good Luck.


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    good write

    Sad stories just make good poetry nice job on this one Thank you for the read, Boog

1 - 5 of 5