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Plato Was A Hippie

 

he flickered shadows
played along the wall-
a cave of generations


stalactite met stalagmite
where ruptured distance
crumbles
to fold before the fall;
crinkled
as eternity


he questions, always questions
rigidity’s intent,
& bent the broken rules-
he floated,
walking tall, he
stuck it to the man

tie-dye candled vision,
he ate slickened wick
to flame
& burned one
for us all;
he spoke in dreams &
visions


singing curtains black,
white rooms wore him
like a shawl
& flashbacked indecision;
he is
  the egg-man
    he is…
      the walrus


silence blaring
cuffed radio’s designs;

he watches shadows
played along the wall
& paints a canvas;
on a cave of generations…

 

 

 

Author notes

I was having a conversation today with ecrivain01 and I said something along these lines: "Somethings surpass all generational content. At least, that is how I view it." He said: "Good point. Now you can write a poem about that. " So...I got to thinking about 'my generation' and it brought me to this class where I we were discussing Plato and how his stories were still generationally valid. One kid in class said "Plato was a HIPPIE!!!" And the collide of the two concepts became...this.

A contest entry

Critical Critique Desired.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • lindaburns gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Judge:
    You didn’t follow the rules on this one but it’s good so I may let that slide. It will depend on what else comes in. Good luck in the contest.


  • Melodies
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aye, Plato was a hippie and considered a dangerous man by the parents of the young and impressionable. He had ideas beyond the usual. AND SO DO YOU! Your poems are unlike the usual and I always wish I might leave a tribute at the foot of each one.


  • notorious gold member
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "stalactite meets stalagmite"
    Maybe make it 'met'...since everything else is in the past tense.

    Okay. Your first stanza--I'm feeling it. I like the idea of PERSON creating shadows, as opposed to Mother Nature.

    "ruptured distance"
    Cool phrase, & 'ruptured' is SUCH a nifty word.

    "fold before the fall"
    Simple but good.

    "rigidity's intent"
    Makes me think of uptight principals who are...nefarious schemers.

    "stuck it to the man"
    LoL..

    "singing curtains black"
    Nice personification.

    "cuffed radio's intent"
    Hmm, second time you've used the word 'intent'--not really a fan of repetition. Maybe replace this one with something else, or "rigidity's intent".

    Otherwise, I liked it


  • Topaze
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A truly wonderful write, for me one of your best. My best wishes always.

  • ecrivain01
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Christ was ...

    a hippie too, you know. Perhaps there's something about wearing sandals and long hair?

    Anyway, this is an intriguing write.

1 - 6 of 6