Dedicated to those who didn't believe their eyes!
A trip to the wholesale on a motorbike!
My late friend John Price was snoring away on my ex's settee,
Until I woke him up to come with me to the wholesale, you see!
I only had an old motorbike, a Honda 125,
On a provisional licence 'cos I couldn't drive!
John still worse for wear, from a skinful of booze before,
Was dragged out with me, and kindly closed the door!
Off we went to the wholesale with back box on the back,
Little did John realise I was going to buy a stack!
I got carried away around the wholesale, stacked up high,
But I then had the problem of how to get it home, had to try!
The Asian men and women, stood to watch the fun,
Of us loading up the motorbike aside their 'Uravan'!
Here' John put these gallons of bleach on the handlebars',
What he said, 'I can't do that, what about the gears'?!
There were howls of resident laughter everywhere around,
As John looking so harassed was overladen found!
"Don't go shopping with a woman", cried John at the amused crowd,
All of them howling and crying with laughter, o'h very very loud!
Eventually we finished up packed, to ultimate capacity,
Lets hope the police don't catch us, beam me up Scottie!
I had 72 toilet rolls between my back and the back box,
The back box was unable to be closed for more handy stocks!
There were five five litre bottles between John and I,
John had 5 litres of bleach between his two thighs!
One slip on that motorbike and John would lose his 'marriage lines',
To say nothing of a mess from 12 huge cans of his favourite Heinz!
12 litres of bubble bath, 12 tubes of a toothpaste,
Just some of the goodies all bought in haste!
All stuffed between us on the motorbike, with John riding on the tank,
He had to tell just about everyone, just who he had to thank!
We set off in the pouring rain to ride the Liverpool streets,
The Asians following in a motorcade all laughing in their seats!
We had to dodge the police, all the way back home,
As we were barely legal, and not really fit to roam!
This is a true story, yes it really did happen to me,
And John a John Mills look-a-like, was also on this spree!
It could only happen in Liverpool, the land of fun and mirth
And its also the very city, of John and I's own birth!
John Price of 'Priced Pandemonium', another of my poems to read,
Is the same John Price I previously wrote about, a very funny breed!
So if you take a woman to a wholesale on a motorbike,
Just makes sure you have a trailer or it might be a risky hike!
Copyright:K:2007.
Author notes
Many years ago my late friend John Price and I took a very surprising
trip to a Liverpool cash and carry, wholesale...... on my Honda 125 motorbike!
It was like a sketch from a "Carry On" film and just as hilarious, though a very crazy stunt in deed, so don't try this one at home ok!
We bought 72 toilet rolls, 12 litres of bubble bath, a huge catering tin of Corned Beef, and a huge catering pack of mashed potato, (Johns favourite dish), 12 boxes of toothpaste (large of course!), 2 x 5 litres bottles of bleach, 2 x 5 litre bottles of washing up liquid, 1 x 5 litres bottles of dish washer soap, 12 large tins of heinz Baked Beans and 24 bars of soap! ....
Well women love to shop till they drop don't they and I am very
partial as a true Virgo to keeping nice and clean!
The problem is we had to get this all home on a motorbike much to the curse of poor John who I wrote about in a previous poem entitled "Priced Pandemonium", and who is a Sir John Mills look-a-like!
We sure raised some laughs riding along the streets home followed by a motorcade of Asian people in "Uravans" who seemed to escort us home just to watch the fun and to see if anything 'fell off the back of a motorbike' (never mind fall off the back of a lorry"!).
Well it did happen in Liverpool so what do you expect?! Was heaps of fun though!
In a list
- Serious & Satirical By Dr Karen J Stevens PhD • next in list
- Nostalgic Poems • next in list
- Humour • next in list
A contest entry
- Experiences!!!! by Ace13.
675 points, ended August 14, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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it makes a good point, never take women shopping! but i could see you doing this, i could just picture it. Good Luck
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Thanks Millions!
Thanks millions, for your fab and kind review you are very inspiring and encouraging.
Glad you liked it.
Yes its fatal to take any woman shopping on a motorbike especially to a wholsesale, poor John had to ride home on the tank with a few gallons of bealch between his legs, one slip and it would have wiped out his marrigage license (roger over and deffo out)! Yikes... heaven forbid!
Poetic Hugs and Thanks Millions,
Kaz.
Kazytc XX
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Sounds like something I would
have got into, I can relate to the situation. I read a couple of your other writes in you home page Mr. and Mrs. Twees go to Church and one of your Brigade Poems, enjoyed them even if I do find British Humor a bit dry lol.
I do hope your not going to tell me you were born on Sept 9th????
enjoyed reading your poetry and your messages, You carry a great aura of not just humor but cheer about you, refreshingly delightful.
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Hi There!
Thanks millions, for your fab and kind review you are very inspiring and encouraging.
Glad you liked my poems.
I was born on Septembewr 14th 1957 (One of Heiz '57' varieties!).... close enough to the 9th I guess!
Thanks for your fun comments and great to meet you, I do love a person with a sense of humour dry or otherwise!... Think reason for UK sense of humour being dry is cos the UK is always wet thanks to the endless rain so opposites attract! (Joke!).
Poetic Hugs and Thanks Millions,
Kaz.
Kazytc XX
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LOL I love this. I see the whole thing unfold in my minds eye. This read brought a smile to my frown and memories to my heart. Thank you for sharing. I am sorry about your friend but the memories left will live on through you and others who knew him.
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Thanks Millions!
Thanks millions, for your fab another kind review you are very inspiring and encouraging.
Glad you liked it. I do indeed treasure the memories of my late zany friend! Was a fun motorbike ride! One I shall never forget!
Poetic Hugs and Thanks Millions,
Kaz.XX
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