Seasons open different doors
Sending colours white to brown
Varied scenes with every change
Hot dry dust to frozen ground
Cool wind brings steady soaking rain
Hot wind dries the earth again.
Coloured leaves of reds and brown
Cool air of autumn notes the change
Leaves float gently to the ground
Winter comes with wind and rain
Summer has left us once again.
Soon the cold will shut all doors
Hiding the green of seasons change
Dry grass still lies on the ground
Holding frost and wetting rain
Until the fields go green again
Nature opens wide the doors
For fields no longer brown.
Sunny spring soon warms the ground
New growth comes from wetting rain
Fresh are all the fields again
Gentle breeze means open doors
Just a peek of all that brown
Nature makes another change.
Summer brings wild stormy rain
Testing the farmer yet again
No care about all those doors
No fret about the colour brown
The hot hot sun will soon ex-change
Brown for green upon the ground.
Autumn colours are back again
Dry dead leaves come in the doors
Soon the fields will be all brown
We rest and wait, another change
With cold white frost upon the ground
And we pray hard for winter rain.
We close the doors 'most every change
Trust nature's rain upon our ground
Will turn brown fields green again.
Author notes
This is a Sestina - my first attempt. Form poetry is a disciplinary challenge I am taking up.
A contest entry
- Imagery is where it's at... by Sincerely.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites w/ options!!!!! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended August 14, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique please
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Lovely write here
Oh how I love each season and the special ways it touches our souls . For the summer brings light and the warmth of the sun
Fall whispers Gods work is done
Winter puts us inside and snuggled warm
looking forward to spring and her outstretched arms
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For a number of years I was in the tropics where there are no seasons as such, it's either wet or not raining. Now I am in a more temperate zone where the seasons are made obvious by natures hand. It is really magnificent. Because I am a keen gardener I am now in a position where I can work with nature to provide food for myself with enough to give away, flowers etc to allow natures beauty to really shine, and fruit in the appropriate season. I am very busy but enjoying every minute of every day.
I am blessed.
Bob
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Wow; this was a beautifully penned sestina with lovely imagery and vivid descriptions.
You really pull in the reader softly with your elegant words.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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I do really appreciate your comments, thank you. It's good to know my poems are being read and enjoyed.
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A sestina of seasons.
Very nicely done poet.
Antonio
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I thank you sir, Form poetry is at the moment an exercise in discipline. I appreciate your comment.
Bob
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I think writing in forms is good practice. I often find it is easier for me to write to some type of form, then change it later. I think it makes you flex your creative muscles to write to a form. It gives a shape, you may have not reached otherwise. This is bloody good for a first sestina!
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It took a lot of thought and hard work to keep to the rules. But it was worth the effort; I think so anyway. Thank you for constructive comments.
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Very good
This was a very interesting poem. There being such a long drought, I'm surprised anyone could remember such things. The changing of the seasons was well written here. I very much like the second verse as it applies here at the moment. I have to admit, I don't know what a sestina is so can't comment on the title. The first line was well placed and led us into the whole poem and the ending brought us basically all the way back again. Well done.
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Thank ou. A sestina is a difficult one to write and just as hard to define and give the rules. I get my info from a website: http://thewordshop.tripod.com//forms.html If you google that you should get the page. Its interesting and challenging. It's also hard yakka doing the writing for some of the more complicated forms. This one came out quite well. Thank you again for your comments.
Bob
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