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Echo

Missing image


Hollow walls echo
secrets,

fairy-tales fall on
deaf ears.

dreams,

forgotten within sea
of emotions

as a broken heart
bleeds upon naive purity

now lost in deception
of happily ever-after.

 

 

 

Where lost love flows in abyss
of tainted virtue.

Author notes

Artist: (39 words)

http://zemotion.deviantart.com/art/Forgotten-Fairytales-58397032

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Grey Mouser
    September 5, 2008

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    Exremely fine impression taken from the image, flowing from the sights you have woven for all. Deceived in faith betrayal falls hard on the soul.
    Congratulations on the well earned silver awarded.
    Love,

    Mouser
    Sun and stars shine no brighter than you!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 24, 2008

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    Such a feeling of despair that is very fitting for the picture! I think we are often naive when we are pure and untainted, and then once we've experienced a broken heart and deception then the abyss surely can open up! Love the feel of this and the end stanza was captivating!


  • notorious gold member
    July 24, 2008

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    You don't need a hyphen for "fairy-tales"...

    "Hollow walls echo secrets"
    I don't think separating 'secrets' enhances it, but it may just be me. Otherwise, great opening line with lots of sound & visuals.

    "forgotten in sea of emotions"
    I think "forgotten within emotion's sea" would sound a lot better. Just an idea..

    "naive purity"
    Interesting.

    "flows in abyss of tainted virtue."
    NICE final stanza that's really climactic.

    Good luck


  • Sacred Ground
    July 24, 2008

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    So sad, but beautifully written. "As broken heart bleeds upon naive purity", is just sweet music. Pure and simple.


  • maralisa silver member
    July 24, 2008

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    forgotten in sea of emotions as a broken heart bleeds upon naive purity Where lost love flows in abyss
    of tainted virtue.wow a very deep powerful poem full of strong emotions good luck in the contest

1 - 5 of 5