Angie loved chocolate. She had a little sister. Daddy was downstairs watching T.V. and Mommy was out shopping. She had it all…motive, means, and opportunity!
Daddy had been overwhelmingly specific. She was NOT to get the box of chocolates out of the fridge. Did she understand? “Yes, Daddy.” Her large blue eyes met his, and her golden ringlets bobbed up and down on her nodding head. He was satisfied.
He surveyed the tidied kitchen, (he loved to surprise me with his capable and efficient help around the house) and knew he had time to spare. He could easily catch the opening tip of the NCAA basketball tournament on the TV in the basement. He had graciously insisted I take as long as I wanted for shopping and running Saturday errands. No need to rush; he had everything under control!
When our oldest child heard his first few cheers and groans, she knew he was engaged. She was not yet three years old, but had already noticed that there were some things that would get her a spank that only got little sister a talking to. The sea-lawyer strain that had been so strong in my grandfather was reborn in her. She would obey the law to the letter.
“DeeDee, come here.” Little sister came. How she loved being included by her big sister!
“Open the fridge.” DeeDee had needed a little help to break the magnetic seal, but Daddy had not told Angie not to open the fridge.
“Get that white box!”
One parent had thought to deter temptation by stashing the chocolates on the very back of the shelf. This meant there were things in the way. DeeDee’s fifteen-month-old arms were not very strong. But all she had to do was move the obstacles over the front edge of the shelf, and then gravity took over. Most of a dozen eggs, a block of cheddar cheese, a bloody pound of hamburger (thawed overnight) on a plate for tonight’s tacos , a clump of leaf lettuce and a carton of cottage cheese that opened on impact made particular acquaintance on the kitchen floor. Yet the item that most impressively included and extended beyond them all was the full pitcher of red cherry Kool Aid.
Daddy came up some time later to find Angie eating chocolates (“DeeDee gave them to me!”) and DeeDee splashing on the floor. The kitchen could no longer pass for tidy. He told them in no uncertain terms to stay put, and went to fill the bathtub. One by one, they were stripped of tinted clothes and diapers and plunked into the tub. He started a load of laundry, gathered the sodden foodstuffs to the garbage can, and had just started with the mop when I entered from the garage, carrying a sack of groceries.
I looked at the room, the mop, the silent, red-faced Moses over the liquid expanse on the floor and groped for something to say.
“I think I forgot something.” I turned around, quietly closed the door behind me, got back into the car and left.
Author notes
Daddy dubbed this adventure “The Red Sea.”
A contest entry
- You Most Embarassing and funniest Moment as a Parent!!! by SilverButterfly.
900 points, ended August 18, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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oh WOW i bet your kiddies were up to more mischief than you know like mine..i remember one very early morning they got up and raided the fridge..everything was on the floor walls everywhere..i said what ARE you doing they turned round and said making you breakfast mummy..i just burst out laughing..brill write..xxx
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Hoodwinked
Kids do the darniest things don't they? I can say neither I nor my siblings ever did this. I have o say though that is a pretty smart three year old.
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oh my goodness I think I would have turned and left too! I have experienced Dads babbysitting my kids too. what a disaster it was most of the time. thanks for entering my contest.
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Haha, hilarious story (probably funnier for me reading it than it was for you.) Thanks for sharing it, gives me something to look forward to one day. Best of luck in the contest.
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TOO funny! Moses parts the red sea with a MOP! This sounds like a story from Rugrats, which actually has a conniving little girl named Angelica (who loves chocolate), and another character named DeeDee (one of the Moms.)
Actually, there is a "Free" background on here of the Rugrats. I know because I designed it. It's baby blue with cartooned babies and toddlers on it. I think it's in "themes".
This is perfection!
I love that you made a quick getaway!
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This is hilarious! That is one smart little child you have there.
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Ha, well and truly rendered! Didn't add or detract anything from the true story, good descriptions, a wonderful light-hearted and engaging tone...a fun and happy read I must say, although I am biased ^_^ My favoritest part is still you 'forgetting' something and running back out. This is a great memoir, I hope you keep writing more! Loves!
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Wonderful story! I can imagine my daughters doing something like that. The ending was the best part!
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This certainly made me chuckle, and I loved the ending. It's amazing what a couple of toddlers can do.
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Funny write. Clever kid! Has she managed to reproduce more just like herself in fulfillment of every parent's curse. Haha. Best of luck in the contest.
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So very cute. Sounds like your children were as inventive as mine!
Just darling.
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